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Michelle Duggar Wants to Get Pregnant Again — So What?

By Devan McGuinness |

michelle duggarMichelle Duggar is the mother of a famous family, thanks to their reality TV show that chronicles her life with her husband and their 19 children — all grown inside her uterus and delivered by her. Her 19th child was born premature, and, sadly, her 20th child lost her life at five months’ gestation last year.

During a recent interview, Michelle discussed that she and her husband are actively trying to get pregnant again, and, of course, crap hit the fan with hundreds of people voicing their thoughts on that decision. Out came people’s ridiculous comments and judgement, and I just can’t help but shake my head at the whole thing.

Let me tell you one thing first: it’s really none of your business. No. really.

Someone may say that because the Duggars are in the public eye, they’ve made their family’s whereabouts everyone’s business, but that’s not true either. I’ve been writing on the Pregnancy channel for Babble for more than two years. I’ve talked about my baby fever and wanting to add a fourth child to our family. I documented our 18-month struggle with infertility, and now I chronicle my life pregnant with my fourth child — my 16th pregnancy.

Yes, 16. Did that number sound like a lot to you? That’s OK. I am not surprised if that number shocks you. I am met with that shock often. When the ultrasound technician asks if this is my first pregnancy for her records, I have to sit there, looking at her shocked face as she hears my answer. 16. When I meet with specialists to check on Baby’s health, I have to share that number again and it’s met with the same face.

I know that Michelle Duggar and I are not in the same position — that our situations are different. She has 19 healthy children, and I have lost 12 of mine, but this all comes down to judging someone else’s family decisions. Public opinions given based on the current size of the family and the past struggles with pregnancy and child loss — situations that we do share.

I have only three living children, and I have been on the receiving end of many comments I am seeing being spewed towards the Duggars. All because we have what some people may consider a “larger family” and because we have had multiple miscarriages and share our stories in a public space.

I have been told that I should take my 12 miscarriages as a “sign” that my uterus is too tired and I should stop. I have been angrily told I should adopt so I don’t “kill another baby.”  I have been questioned on why I am actively trying to get pregnant (accused of being obsessed), and I have been approached with the veil that if someone else can’t handle two kids, what makes me think I can handle more. These are also comments I have already seen rolling in when it comes to Michelle’s latest interview.

No one has the right to question someone else’s family size. No one has the right to assume that because one person struggles with managing their kids that another family can’t handle more on their plate.

No one has the right to tell a woman that her uterus is tired and she should quit trying. No one has the right to say because someone’s child was born prematurely, with health issues, or died in utero, that they should take that as a sign they should not have more.

No one. And not even to a family like the Duggars. Yes, even though they have 19 living children and 3 healthy grandchildren. They’ve decided as a loving couple that they’re not done yet. From what I have seen of their children on the show, this family has their stuff together. It appears they can handle their children with ease and gentle discipline, they don’t rely on anyone else for their needs, and they are great, loving parents.

You may not understand their decision or choices when it comes to their family size. You may not understand why they answered the interviewer’s question honestly saying they were trying for another baby. And guess what — you don’t have to. Because it’s none of your business.

Also on Babble: Michelle Duggar Tells Us She’s “Actively Trying” for a 20th Baby: Should She Stop?

Photo credit: iStockPhoto

More on Babble:

Devan is a freelance writer living in Toronto, Ontario with her husband, three kids and expecting baby #4 at the end of this year. Read more from  on Babble and “like” Accustomed Chaos on Facebook!

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About Devan McGuinness

devanmcguinness

Devan McGuinness

Devan McGuinness is the writer of the lifestyle website byDevan. After surviving 12 miscarriages, Devan founded Unspoken Grief, a resource and support site for perinatal and neonatal loss. Read bio and latest posts → Read Devan's latest posts →

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7 thoughts on “Michelle Duggar Wants to Get Pregnant Again — So What?

  1. Nolie says:

    FANTASTIC post Devan.

  2. Leah says:

    The Duggars are members of the Quiverfull movement.THAT is why people care. They are raising and army of RACISTS. What is wrong with all of you women that don’t think this is a problem? Michelle Duggar having even 1 child and raising them that way is disgusting.

  3. Alex says:

    First, I am sorry for the Duggars and particuarly the author for their losses.

    However, I disagree with the author’s assertion that it’s no one’s business. She needs to have a healthy dose of intellectual honesty about the supposed judgment being passed on her and the Duggars. The author has put her losses and family history out on the web for the world to see. And the Duggars actually have a show because of their unusual choice of family size. They are being compensated for that glimpse into their lives, and I suppose it’s possible that the author is as well. So, the Duggars and the author have opened themselves up to judgment and discussion, and it’s disingenuous to now call that unfair or to expect otherwise.

    If you don’t want to open yourself up to other people’s opinions, then keep your personal history private, and those who are in the know and pass judgment on you, well, you can deal with them directly. If you want to write a open piece to the world in support of large families, fine. But if your argument includes how it’s no one’s business, well, that’s just ridiculous.

  4. Mark Kausch says:

    I see hardly any relation between your situation, Devan, and the Duggars. Have you noticed how many people are starving in the world, not to mention this country? You cannot control how your kids grow up; they may very well contribute to world hunger. That it why I despise this family.

  5. aerica says:

    Thank you for this post! Other peoples family size choices shouldn’t be criticized. They are living their lives to what is authentic to them. It isn’t our lifestyle, so what? It isn’t directly affecting us, so what? It affects us as much as a family 3 miles away impacts our household, it doesn’t. I wish them happiness. I send you happiness as well. :)

  6. Sabrina says:

    Well, as great as it sounds to sterilize all of those who might breed and create more of those who hold beliefs like themselves, guess what? We do not get to make that call.

    We can “Be the change we want to see in the world,” not make others change..l

  7. Alex says:

    First, I am sorry for the author’s loss. Same for the Duggars.

    However, I think the author’s argument lacks intellectual honesty. Both the Duggars and the author have put their stories out there for the world to see. I’m sure the Duggars are being compensated for this glimpse into their family lives, and the author may be as well. It’s unreaslistic to then expect people not to judge or discuss their family situations. If the Duggars or the author did not want that to happen, then they should have kept their family lives private.

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