Music Banned From My Labor Playlist

I remember being in labor for the first time, pushing my baby out, and suddenly the only thing I could hear was Oprah Winfrey. The details elude me, but I remember demanding in a not so nice fashion to turn the *beepin’* TV off. NOW!

With my daughter, MP3 players were just starting to become all the rage, and I of course spent hours creating the perfect playlist. Her delivery didn’t really go as planned, and the iPod dock never made it out of the overnight bag.

With my son, I again painstakingly made a labor playlist. I remember being somewhere in transition (aka worst! pain! ever!) and hearing Hootie and the Blowfish pumping out of the speakers. Pretty sure I again lost my everloving mind demanding the music to be turned off.

Needless to say, I’ve had some bad luck creating playlists. I’ve made some pretty inappropriate listening choices, I’ll admit it.

Currently, I’m almost 37 weeks pregnant, and have found myself again making a new birthing playlist. While I’m not sure what will make the final musical cut, I do know a few specific songs (and artists) that will NOT be on the rotation.

In no particular order, songs and artists not allowed on my labor playlist:

1. Christmas Music

Even if this kid shows up before December 25th, it’s simply not going to be allowed.

2. Hootie and the Blowfish

Due to past circumstances, Hootie might give me a bad case of PTSD.

3. Jimmy Buffet

Pretty sure natural birth is the farthest place from Margaritaville, so keep that kind of  music away from me.

4. Push It, by Salt n’ Peppa

Do I even need to explain this one? Any song with the word “push” in it is not allowed in the birthing room.

5. Enya

No real reason, other than she makes me clench up with hate, and that sounds problematic when I’m trying to will my body into dilation.

6. I Wanna be Sedated, by The Ramones

Yes, it will make me go loco.

7. Burning Ring of Fire, by Johnny Cash

If you’ve ever experienced natural labor, you instantly know why this song would never be allowed on my playlist. I need to keep thoughts of “burning rings of fire” as far away as possible.

8. Justin Bieber

I’m not sixteen and pregnant, I’m 33. Anything from The Bieb will not be tolerated. Especially that Baby Baby song…

9. Anything formerly used in a children’s movie soundtrack:

Example: The Circle of Life by Elton John (Lion King)

10. Harry Hood, by Phish

For the most part, I enjoy Phish. But for personal reasons, this song makes me want to claw something.

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There you have it. Songs that will not make the labor and delivery playlist.

How about you? What WILL NOT make your playlist?

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