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My Pelvis Needs to Rest But My Libido Is Awake!

Hello. My name is Rebekah and I haven’t had sex in nearly two months. (Insert sound of grinding teeth).

It’s not that I don’t want to have sex. On the contrary, since the beginning of my second trimester, I have wanted to have sex. Like WHOA, have I wanted to.  And my husband would be more than happy to oblige. But I can’t. I’m not allowed. I’m on pelvic rest.

I was assigned pelvic rest back in February when I went into the doctor to check on some Braxton-Hicks and pressure in my pelvis. See, I’m considered higher than normal risk for cervical incompetence because of some past cervical surgeries and my OB practice doesn’t mess around with keeping an eye on a suspect cervix. When they heard about my symptoms, they rushed me in for an ultrasound that revealed slight shortening of my cervix but no sign of preterm labor. They sent me home with orders to go on pelvic rest – meaning no sex or vigorous exercise – and come back soon to check again.

That was two months ago and since then I’ve had multiple ultrasounds and internal exams and there’s been no change. Nothing. Nada. Nichts. The length of my cervix has stayed stable and it’s closed up tight.  I, and most of the medical staff I’ve queried, suspect that my cervix just got a little squashed as my uterus got heavier and it’s probably nothing to worry about. I probably wouldn’t even know about it if they didn’t have me on what they call cervical surveillance in the first place. Like I say, my OB practice is very cautious about pregnancies where any kind of complication might be indicated. And normally, I appreciate them keeping on top of things but OH MY GOD I HAVEN’T HAD SEX SINCE MY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY IN THE MIDDLE OF FEBRUARY! I’m even delaying reading that book 50 Shades of Grey that everyone is raving about because sexy stories will not be helpful! This pelvic rest is not only interfering with my sex life but also with my literary choices. Grrrr!

Every OB visit I have, I ask if I can stop with the pelvic rest. And every doctor there says no. They say that what I’m doing now is working and I shouldn’t change a thing. That’s probably code for “We’re not going to let you change anything because if we say you can have sex and you go bathe your cervix in the prostaglandins in semen and they cause your cervix to ripen and open up, you’re going to sue our asses”.

This is probably not an unreasonable concern among doctors in the DC area where the lawyer population is as thick as the traffic on the Beltway.

I’m the kind of person who is too chicken to go against medical advice so I’m continuing to not have sex despite my frustration (seriously, can you imagine enforced celibacy in the second trimester?). They keep telling me that I can probably come off pelvic rest at 32 weeks but I fear by then I’ll be so big and cranky that sex won’t have the same appeal.  Maybe that will be the moment to read 50 Shades of Grey.

Read more from Rebekah at Mom-in-a-Million, The DC MomsThe Broad Side
Follow Rebekah on Facebook and Twitter too!

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