Whenever someone asks me what I’m most afraid of, my answer is always the same…
Falling and knocking my teeth out. Isn’t that ridiculous? But seriously, when you really think about it, can you imagine how horrible that would be?
I’m not even a very clumsy person, but for some reason I have this petrifying fear of falling on my face and suddenly ending up in dentures. Now that I’m pregnant, my fear of falling has intensified to new levels.
I blame it all on one particular episode of Grey’s Anatomy…
My sister has been living with us this summer while on break from college. I’m not sure how it all even started, but somehow she convinced me that because we moved to Seattle, I now needed to watch all seven seasons of Grey’s Anatomy. (I’m only on season four, so no spoilers please!) Most days at lunch time, I take a break from working and my computer, and sit down to enjoy my food with a new-to-me episode of my new favorite medical drama.
As is usually the case with TV shows, there are far more catastrophes and and disasters than one could ever imagine happening in real life. And while I rarely take any of this seriously, there was one episode in particular that stood out to me.
A husband and his very pregnant wife come into the ER after she has taken a fall in the shower. Her wrist is broken, and while they are resetting the bones, they do an ultrasound just to make sure everything is okay with the baby as well. The camera pans to the ultrasound machine, where there is a noticeable lack of movement. The music starts, the doctor’s faces all fall. The baby is gone.
While I realize this scenario is far from real life, it really made me stop and think about how precious and seemingly fragile this little life inside of me truly is. If I thought knocking my front teeth out was the worst thing that could happen to me, I have now replaced that with falling and hurting my baby.
I’m more cautious on the stairs now,I don’t let my dogs pull quite so hard on their leashes, and I step into the shower slower than my grandma. And while I know that I’m being as careful as I can possible be, I think my fear of falling will likely follow me all the way up to the delivery room. Is it irrational? Probably. Can I be too careful? Probably not.
All television drama aside, it feels pretty powerful (and sometimes terrifying) that my body is essentially a fortress right now – a safe-haven for growing and nourishing the baby that I am so desperate to meet in October. Until then, I’m going to keep taking it one slow step at a time.
What are some other slightly irrational pregnancy fears? I can’t be the only one…right?