My Wife's 5 Biggest Pregnancy Fashion Concerns Don't Quite Rival Victoria Beckham's

Victoria likes to look good.

I bet it’s tough being Victoria Beckham. Think about it. Back in the day, she was an integral member of an internationally successful pop group. Then she married a world-famous heart throb who just happened to be one of the best soccer players on the planet. She’s wealthy as all get out. Oh, and don’t forget that she happens to be smokin’ hot. It almost doesn’t seem fair.

But Beck’s better half has her problems, too, you know. Like worrying about what to wear at the royal wedding coming up on April 29th. You know, given that she’ll still be with child by then.

Sadly, Caroline and I weren’t invited to the royal wedding. And though she initially felt snubbed, when my wife read the Hollywood News article about Victoria’s fashion dilemma, she was more than a little bit relieved. After all, she’s got enough fashion concerns between now and July 20th. No need to add a pesky royal wedding to the list of these five:

  • 1. Target Runs: While Victoria’s fretting about the perfect dress to accessorize her baby bump, Caroline’s just hoping to find a cute shirt that won’t showcase her protruding belly button in the checkout line.
  • 2. Swimming Pool: Summer is right around the corner (hooray!), and that means that trips to the pool are right around the corner as well. And by then, Caroline will have crossed over the 30 week mark. Do I really need to say any more?
  • 3. Jazzercize and Tennis duds: Caroline plans on getting exercise for as long as she possibly can. That just might mean up to week 40, assuming she continues receive her OB GYN’s blessing. So while Victoria seeks the perfect outfit in which she can elegantly waltz, my wife is looking for perfect outfit in which she can rip a cross-court, two-handed backhand.
  • 4. Krogering: Target, the pool and exercise outings aren’t the only high-profile engagements on my wife’s list. So, too, is Krogering. And it’s hard enough to check everything off the list with three toddlers climbing all over you. She’d prefer to do it without her belly popping out, thank you very much.
  • 5. Sweats: While I know it’s a pain in the ass for Victoria to find the perfect dress to hobnob sport while exchanging pleasantries with Sir Elton John and Kanye (really? Kanye? hmm.), it’s no walk in the park for Caroline to find the perfect pair of sweats to masquerade around the house in while tending to our posse. She’s still seeking them. So just think how hard it’d be to find a gown worthy of the royal nuptials. Yeah, it’s probably best we were left off the list. (Even if it probably was just an oversight.)

Image: Wikipedia

Article Posted 5 years Ago
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