Natalie Portman is Pregnant


And engaged.  But I’m more interested in the pregnant part.  Ever since I became a mother, well, actually, ever since I became pregnant I am super interested in observing the pregnancies of celebrities.  If I’m being honest here, I’m actually most interested in watching how much weight they gain.

There’s something supremely gratifying about a really hot actress gaining an assload of weight, isn’t there?  Or is it just me that enjoys the Worst Beach Bodies of The Year issue of Star magazine?

Maybe it is just me.

But hey!  I’m just as interested when someone loses a lot of weight as well.  It’s fascinating.  But the weight gainers are definitely the most interesting.  I’m talking serious weight gain here.  Like when Katie Holmes was expecting.  Of course, she lost the weight in two seconds.  But it was nice to see a chubby Katie, if only for a few months. Contrast that with my arch nemesis, Giselle Bundchen, and you’ll see what I mean.

So Natalie Portman, who just lost about a million pounds to play a ballerina in Black Swan, is knocked up!  The 29-year-old actress met French choreographer, Benjamin Millepied, during the production of the movie, which has earned her Oscar buzz… yada, yada, yada…  The folks over at Famecrawler have the down low on all that stuff.

And the bump watch begins.  Exciting times for chubby, pregnant, shallow folks like me.