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Oh, the Headache!

Ever wonder what taking Clomid is like?

What the side effects are?

Well, I kept a detailed journal of the last five days so that I could share my personal experience with you*…

Day One

7:00 am Take Clomid.

11:00 am Smile smugly, telling myself that Clomid is no match for me.

11:55 am Take two Tylenol for a sudden onset of a headache.

2:30 pm Turn into a sobbing mess at a bridal shower when talking to the mother of the groom. Convince myself that my 2-year-old son will be walking down the aisle any day now.

5:00 pm Become irrationally angry at a passing rain shower.

6:00 pm Take an Aleve to try to conquer the worsening headache that the Tylenol didn’t even touch.

6:30 pm Make note to throw out that bottle of useless Aleve.

Day Two

6:58 am Wake and wince from the relentless headache.

7:00 am Take Clomid and Tylenol.

7:01 am Complain to husband about massive headache.

7:02 am Make mental note to get revenge on husband who does not have headache.

10:00 am Notice that daughter has apparently grow three inches in the past month. Tell myself that she is no longer a baby, while sobbing and wiping my nose with my sleeve.

1:30 pm Put kids down for nap, lay perfectly still on the couch and hope that either the headache goes away or I die quickly.

2:00 pm Curse the fact that neither of the aforementioned wishes have been granted.

5:30 pm Consider actually paying my children to play the quiet game.

Day Three

7:00 am Take Clomid.

7:01 am Swear at headache that will apparently never ever go away and take two more Tylenol.

9:20 am Watch daughter’s ballet lesson through self-pitying tears that I never took ballet as a child.

11:00 am Walk through grocery store, internally fuming over the fact the person in front of me needs to hurry the #$)!_ up!!!

11:24 am Cry in the car because I am so frustrated with aforementioned slow person.

1:20 pm Take two more Tylenol and ponder the damage I’m doing to my liver.

2:04 pm Rage like a crazy person because you cannot find a pen. Anywhere!

2:05 pm Vow to bring bodily harm to whoever hid all of the pens.

4:00 pm Cry that naptime is over. Already.

Day Four

7:00 am Take Clomid.

9:59 am (Im)patiently wait outside Costco for them to open so I can buy the biggest bottle of Tylenol sold.

11:48 am Curse headache that I am certain is just snickering at me.

1:30 pm Lay on couch and repeat prayers from Day Three that I just die already.

1:45 pm Text husband to complain about headache.

1:46 pm Call husband to complain about headache.

1:47 pm Vow to restrain myself from harassing husband at work over headache.

4:42 pm Decide that it’s “close enough” to 5:00 and pour a much-needed glass of wine.

4:45 pm Open mail. Sob uncontrollably over the kind words in a card from a friend that read, “I know the Clomid is rough but hang in there. This too shall pass…”

Day Five

7:00 am Take Clomid.

7:01 am Do a 30-second happy dance that I have taken the last two pills!

7:01:30 am Curse the headache that cut my happy dance short.

7:02 am Take first two Tylenol of the day.

10:00 am Wonder why we have to listen to The Wheels on the Bus on a constant loop.

10:06 am Decide to open front door during naptime and hurl the aforementioned CD as far as humanly possible.

11:47 am Cry over the injustice of having to prepare lunch.

1:00 pm Continue with ongoing liver damage by choking down two more Tylenol.

1:29 pm Hope and pray that the Clomid works. And that the headache goes away one day in the very near future.

*This is my personal humorous account. Others who have taken Clomid have experienced no side effects at all. Lucky me.

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