Old Wives Tales About Pregnancy (Hint: If You Look Awful, it's a Girl)Ceridwen Morris
If an ultrasound technician hasn’t informed you of the sex of your baby, people on the street most certainly have. Technology and empirical evidence be dammed, old wives tales seem to have as strong a hold as ever. For fun, I’ve compiled several of them here.
Together, they tell a much more accurate story about our sexist legacy than about the sex of our unborn baby: girls bring with them foul temper, acne, limp hair, vomiting and cellulite; boys, on the other hand, are like an elixir of youth and beauty for their expecting mothers. Also, note the prenatal Oedipal drama implicit in this little gem: if the father was more sexually aggressive at time of conception, you’ll have a girl. If mommy was more into it, it’s a boy.
It’s a BOY if mom…..
has little to no morning sickness
craves salty foods
doesn’t look pregnant from behind
has cold feet and thicker hair
prefers the bread crust
is ignored by boys
prefers to sleep on left side
has a previous child who said “dada” before “mama”
producing urine that, when mixed with a tablespoon of Drain-O, turns blue
sees her wedding swing in circles when it’s dangled over her belly by a string
It’s a GIRL if mom….
finds that her beauty has been “sapped”
gets zitty with limp hair
craves sweet foods
prefers the soft part of bread
draws the attention of boys
has a round face
looks pregnant “from behind”
prefers to sleep on right side
has a previous child who said “mama” before “dada”
produces urine that, when mixed with a tablespoon of Drain-O, turns green
sees her wedding swing back and forth, when it’s dangled over belly by a string