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Old Wives Tales About Pregnancy (Hint: If You Look Awful, it's a Girl)

If an ultrasound technician hasn’t informed you of the sex of your baby, people on the street most certainly have. Technology and empirical evidence be dammed, old wives tales seem to have as strong a hold as ever.  For fun, I’ve compiled several of them here.

Together, they tell a much more accurate story about our sexist legacy than about the sex of our unborn baby: girls bring with them foul temper, acne, limp hair, vomiting and cellulite; boys, on the other hand, are like an elixir of youth and beauty for their expecting mothers.  Also, note the prenatal Oedipal drama implicit in this little gem: if the father was more sexually aggressive at time of conception, you’ll have a girl. If mommy was more into it, it’s a boy.

It’s a BOY if mom…..

glows

has little to no morning sickness

craves salty foods

doesn’t look pregnant from behind

carries low

has cold feet and thicker hair

prefers the bread crust

is ignored by boys

prefers to sleep on left side

has a previous child who said “dada” before “mama”

producing urine that, when mixed with a tablespoon of Drain-O, turns blue

sees  her wedding swing in circles when it’s dangled over her belly by a string

It’s a GIRL if mom….

is sick

is moody

finds that her beauty has been “sapped”

gets zitty with limp hair

craves sweet foods

carries high

prefers the soft part of bread

draws the attention of boys

has a round face

looks pregnant “from behind”

prefers to sleep on right side

has a previous child who said “mama” before “dada”

produces urine that, when mixed with a tablespoon of Drain-O, turns green

sees her wedding swing back and forth, when it’s dangled over belly by a string

photo: Alcino/Flickr

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