I knew that this wasn’t going to be easy. I prepared myself as much as I could for the likely possibility that we will have more miscarriages. We talked a lot before we started actively trying to grow our family about this — would I be able to ‘handle it’, the likeliness of it happening at least once and we have everything at home that we need to reduce the risks as much as we can. All while understanding that if it does happen, it won’t be anyone’s “fault” — it’s just our struggle.
I got pregnant this cycle. My due date was to be in February and I was cautiously excited.
Being cautious about it doesn’t make it any less or more painful. Just like a few before — 6 weeks pregnant hit and so does the end of it.
It’s painful both physically and emotionally.
The hormones leave my body which leaves me feeling a bit at odds with it — very unlike myself.
The pregnancy symptoms linger for a few days and then fade.
The surprisingly painful cramping will be my reminding companion for a while now and I grieve our loss.
It sucks — I wish I had more eloquent words, but I really don’t. I am angry, I am hurting and I am longing to complete our family.
Photo credit: MrB-MMX on Flickr