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Pink, Blue, or Taboo

By Danielle |

gender, ultrasound, baby boy, baby girl, pregnancy

© amanaimages/Corbis

Deep down inside, many mothers, especially when expecting their second, or even third child have a preference of which gender they would like their unborn child to be. Right along side of this trend I also see tons of women being tabooed for holding that preference.

But lets be honest. To some extent we all have preferences. Whether it is gender, hair color, eye color, which parents nose, future career or college… You get the point.

When it comes down to it though, we shouldn’t be made to feel guilty because of the personal preferences we may hold for our own children. It is mother’s instinct and intuition to dream, and hope for our youngsters.

I am the mother of two boys. Camden, and Benjamin. Camden will be turning three this winter, and Benjamin will be turning two right around the time we welcome our third child into the family. I love my boys to death, and I love everything about being a mother to boys. They are messy, hysterical, and one of a kind for sure. But this time around I find myself longing for a little girl.


There are no grand daughters in our family. I was the last girl born way back when. We all hoped for a girl last time around, and I am so glad we got a second boy. He fits perfectly in our family. But with that being said, this is our last chance for a girl. This is most likely our last child altogether.

I guess you could honestly say I would be disappointed if we had a third boy. Not because I wouldn’t love another boy. I could totally rock the phrase my three sons, and not have to worry about buying new clothes. But I would be disappointed because of the unknown.

What would it be like to have a little girl?
What would she look like?
Would she be a strong independent woman like her mother?
Would she be the first female Marine in our family?

All of those what ifs that would never be filled.

Not to mention my serious addiction to pink stuff.
Little girl dresses, pink baby bedding, hot pink headbands which I could match with myself, and anything else pink and ruffle butt I could find. You can see where I am going.

Lets face it, I can’t get away wearing ruffles on my own butt. I would get evil eyes, and strange stares. Rightfully so!  Heck I would do the same to a grown woman I saw walking down the street like that!

Women should be comfortable with slight disappointment, and supported through it. Not poo pooed because  they may rub someone the wrong way.

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About Danielle



Danielle Elwood is a straight-shooting Florida based mom of three and emerging indie author. Read bio and latest posts → Read Danielle's latest posts →

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0 thoughts on “Pink, Blue, or Taboo

  1. thais says:

    When I was having baby #3 I wanted another little girl boys were well boys plus we already had everything for a girl. When I found out it was a boy I cryed for hours in my Grandmothers kitchen…. its funny now when I look back. And now I have 2 girls and 2 boys and am so glad god gave me 2 little boys! I think every mom and dad has a time when they want one gender over another but in the end they are just happy they are healthy.

  2. Marcy (@mightymarce) says:

    This is part of why I’m glad we found out the sex early instead of waiting till the birth. Both when I was pregnant with my first son, and now with my 2nd pregnancy, I found myself thinking about cute pink dresses and ruffles, etc. When I found out, both times, that we’d be having a boy instead, I did feel a bit of disappoinment, and a little more this time since it’ll be our second and we may not be having more children after this. I’ve known for a few weeks now, and by now I’m VERY excited to be having a second boy… and I’m glad I was able to work through those feelings (feel my disappointment, allow it to turn to delight at the boy I’ll be having) while still pregnant instead of feeling disappointment at the birth. I think that would feel awful, personally.

    By the way, one thing that’s interesting about this is that I’ve recently heard many stories of moms who had *others* make a judgment about the sex of the baby they were having. Like, if someone was pregnant with their 2nd, 3,rd ect child and knew they were having another of the same sex as their previous child(ren), others would say things like, ‘Oh I’m sorry.” Pretty outrageous.

  3. Julie says:

    Thank you! I’m so sick of being judged because I haven’t warmed up to the idea of having a boy when I knew this was my LAST chance for a girl. It’s about time someone said hey, it’s okay to feel like that.

  4. Micki says:

    I cried when I found out I was having my second son. Why? I didn’t want to have the circumcision debate with my husband. I knew where he stood. He knew where I stood. And it wasn’t on the same side. I cried. I was devastated. I wanted a boy but I didn’t want to argue and have horrible feelings towards my husband about it. In the end, my husband decided not fuss with me on the issue. Thank goodness. But it was devastating none the less.

  5. wendy @ ABCs and Garden Peas says:

    With my first, I was dumbfounded when I found out he was a boy. I cried for days, and I honestly didn’t know why. It felt like disappointment, but it also felt like I was unsure that I could do a good job raising a boy. I mean, I had just finished a performance of The Vagina Monologues where I chanted about my power as a woman onstage, and I had always thought about raising a girl, but I just couldn’t imagine what I would do with a boy (robots, action figures and bugs? What?) I felt horribly guilty, but I allowed myself to feel it and work through the emotions, and now that he’s here, he’s my world and our relationship is wonderful. I am not sure how I will feel if we have another boy, but I know I will definitely mourn the loss of the idea of a daughter if I never have one. I would never judge a mother for feeling any type of emotion upon finding out her baby’s gender. It’s a very personal and life-changing discovery, perhaps almost as big as finding out you’re pregnant in the first place!

  6. Doreen Lombardo says:

    I always wanted all boys. When I found out I was having a girl the 2nd time around I was shocked. I adore her now that I have her and it is fun doing all the girlie things with her, however, I was always partial to boys.

  7. Julia Angel says:

    I was devastated when I found out I was expecting a boy. I was wondering what I was going to do with him and announced that we had nothing in common. Fast forward almost 6 years, and he is my best buddy, my little fashionista, my little philosopher with great sense of humor and impossibly poetic expressions and comparisons. We have so much in common, it’s frightening. And he wants a little sister too, so he can “tell her what to do”.

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