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1: Don't Trust Celebrity Pregnant Brides
No one keeps track of the celebrity pregnant bride phenomenon more than me. And trust me, they are not normal. Please keep in mind that Bethenny Getting Married also includes Bethenny getting a trainer, wedding planner, personal assistants, stylists, make-up artists, and a person who exists just to pick out her jewelry. Seriously.
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2: Choose the Right Shoes
Swollen ankles and dainty wedding shoes do not a merry match make.
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3: Find a Seamstress
You may just find yourself crying and hysterical on the eve of your wedding night as your gown, already let out twice, rips down the side. You may then find yourself forever praising an elderly woman named Mary Jane for the overnight miracle she worked to allow you to become a married woman.
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4: Here Comes the Bride... and Baby
Sorry ladies, but when you walk down the aisle, it wont be just you that everyone is looking at. When I walked down the aisle at five months pregnant, 400 guests craned their heads to look at me, not just to see the blushing bride or beautiful dress, but to see if I was starting to show.
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5: It Was Cute on Kate, But Not on You
The whole world collectively held their breath as Prince William struggled to fit the gold ring over his brides unusually large knuckle. Unfortunately, when it happens to you because youre pregnant and have fingers more swollen than Buckingham Palaces purse, it wont be as cute. My advice? Invest in a dummy ring or plan on a ring resize after delivery.
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6: They Call You... Shamu
Looking at pictures from my honeymoon, of my pregnant body stuffed into a bikini and stretched out on the sand, my sister fondly dubbed me Shamu. Honeymoons can be a little different when youre pregnant.
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7: Sleep Comes First
On my wedding night, after my pregnant belly emerged from the bathroom before I did, I stretched out seductively on the bed in my poorly-fitting lacy lingerie and promptly fell asleep. Whoops. Also, lace is a bad choice for the belly — its itchy.
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8: Chocolate is Love
With a baby on board, budgets are a good thing. Who needs costly wedding favors when you can have flowing rivers of molten chocolate instead? Go for the chocolate fountain at the reception — you wont regret it.
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9: Learn to Say "Thank You."
A funny thing happens when you show up knocked up to your wedding — people feel sorry for you. Play up the poor, pregnant bride card, and you might just find yourself with free help at your wedding — photography, flowers, cake, and the above chocolate fountain, to name a few examples. Even more importantly, there will come a point when you need help with that dress. Pregnant women pee a lot, remember?
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10: Move Over, Cinderella
No one expected Cinderella to show up to the start of happily ever after with a baby under that magic gown, but so what! Create your own fairytale, minus the pumpkin carriage — its not good for morning sickness.
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