Pregnancy and My Plummeting Self-EsteemLauren Hartmann
I want to preface this post by saying that I am so incredibly thrilled at the prospect of becoming a mom. I know that I am growing a tiny, little miracle and I am so blessed to have the ability to be pregnant at all much less have such an easy pregnancy as I’ve had thus far and I am so excited to meet my little girl!
But now that we’ve got all that sacred vessel, blah, blah, blah out of the way I’m just gonna be real and put this out there: pregnancy has been a real shock for my self-esteem.
(Read more after the jump)…
Pre-pregnancy, I was full of maternity pipe dreams. Dreams of a perfectly rounded basketball bump (long, lithe appendages included), thick, lustrous hair and a radiant pregnancy “glow” danced in my head. But the reality hasn’t matched up (I blame cute pregnant bloggers and Hollywood celebrities for my unrealistic expectations).
I can’t really wear maternity clothes yet, but all of my regular clothes are no longer doing the trick. I did a bit of shopping this weekend and while I did come away with some cute finds (thanks for my encouraging, sweet shopping buddies) the unflattering dressing room lights and larger sizes left me in a bit of a funk.
I didn’t expect to feel like this. I expected to love having a round belly, but honestly I just feel kind of gross and completely unattractive. I know I look fine and that it’s all in my head, but I can’t help it. It’s just weirding me out to see how quickly my body is changing. My poor husband. I don’t think he realized how much affirmation I was going to need during this time, but it’s pretty much become his part-time job. He’s a gem. If I’m feeling like this at five and a half months pregnant I don’t even want to think about how I’m going to feel when I’m heading into my ninth month!
I was hesitant to share my feelings on the matter, because I feel guilty about it. I feel like I should be thankful for every little moment of this pregnancy. But, I’m kind of starting to realize that while I am thankful for the little girl growing inside of me, it’s alright to feel a little overwhelmed by all the pregnancy side-effects and by my rapidly changing body. I wanted to put this out there in the hopes that some other mommy-to-be won’t feel like she’s the only terrible mother to ever feel like her body’s been highjacked, cause I’m right there with you. Thanks for letting me be real.
Have any of you felt this way during pregnancy?
Was there anything that helped boost your self-esteem?
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