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Pregnancy Hormones And The Craziest Stuff Women Say They've Done

By Monica Bielanko |

I remember waiting for my husband, Serge, to get home from an all-day fishing trip.  I was several months pregnant with our daughter and I was certain he was dead, absolutely certain.

I sat on the couch that rested beneath our front window and redialed his cell phone for the bazzilionth time.  “Hi, this is Serge, leave a message…”

“DAMMIT!”

I looked at our dog Max and burst into tears.  “He’s dead, Max, I know he’s dead!”

I can laugh about it now, but I remember how terrified I was at the time, envisioning a tidal wave of water sweeping Serge downstream and drowning him, or a fiery car crash on the way home.  I wept for myself, the single mother who would have to forge bravely ahead with our daughter, alone.  I cried for the daughter who would grow up without a dad.

What a melodramatic, hormonal idiot.

But maybe pregnancy hormones are nothing to laugh about.  A 7 months pregnant woman recently admitted to pushing her husband out a 17 story window.  As Sunny Chanel reports over on Strollerderby, “pregnancy can lead to symptoms of depression and anxiety, two powerful emotional states that could lead a woman to do some pretty crazy stuff. Her defense attorneys will surely use, or explore using, a plea of insanity since it could be argues she was not in a right state of mind.”

So yeah, pushing your husband out a window is a hop, skip and a jump ahead of thinking he died on a fishing trip.  But ask any pregnant woman if she behaved crazily while pregnant and attributes it to hormones and the stories come rolling in.

Julie Westgate says her nutty behavior involved something most of us think makes life a lot easier, especially when pregnant and fat. “I developed an unnatural fear of microwaves and threatened to move out of the house until my husband removed it and put it in the cellar.”

There must be a microwave thing… Crystal Checketts Peters says “I had constant visions of sticking cats in them and watching them explode. I wouldn’t cook anything in them while I was pregnant and the smell of someone else using them made me sick!”

Maggie May Ethridge can laugh about it now, but at the time, she was certain her husband was hot for the woman who performed their ultrasound.  “During a nerve-wracking ultrasound in my eighth month with our fourth baby, I threw a sulking fit because I thought my husband was horny for the skinny ultrasound tech. Sigh. She was pretty and NOT pregnant, and my husband could only sputter ‘but she has old hands!”

Ha!  So I’m glad to hear I’m not alone. Although I’ve yet to hear about a pregnant woman becoming emotional over a Kid Rock song. I may have done that. Just the once.

What about you? What’s the craziest thing you did while pregnant that you chalk up to the hormones?

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About Monica Bielanko

monica-bielanko

Monica Bielanko

Monica Bielanko was raised on the wild frontier of late 1970's Utah. She is a recovering Mormon who married the guitar player of an unknown band. She's been married to her Babble Voices writing partner, Serge Bielanko, for the past nine years. Her personal blog, The Girl Who was in the top ten of last year's Top 50 list. Read bio and latest posts → Read Monica's latest posts →

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7 thoughts on “Pregnancy Hormones And The Craziest Stuff Women Say They've Done

  1. Paulina says:

    Oh, well there was the day I melted into a weepy crying mess because my dad commented that my legs were getting bigger. He meant it as concern for me, like was I swelling or uncomfortable, but all I heard was “you’re a whale”. That entire day, the simplest things would make me cry. I also have developed an unrational fear of being stabbed in the belly or being attacked. When walking through crowds, I get really anxious that someone will hurt me and I won’t be able to get away. I’m sure it has something to do with feeling vulnerable since I move slower and have less energy than normal. But the feeling is real, and the anxiety is real.

  2. Sara says:

    I’m seven months now. I went to a wedding this weekend with all of my dearest friends, some of whom now have children. At one point, we were all dancing, including some friends with a really precious toddler, who was holding this big red balloon and soaking up everyone’s attention. The juxtaposition of old friends, wonderful old life, and new children and a wonderful new life made me just lose it. I had to go in the bathroom and bawl for a good ten minutes. It was hilarious and totally over the top for me.

  3. Juli says:

    LOL, I love that I made it in your blog. Something I didn’t fess up to was knowing that my husband would want to bring that old microwave (and I mean seriously old..one I was given from my sister who purchased it in the late 80′s OLD) back up and use it after our daughter was born. And I absolutely was not going to have that. So every time I went to the basement I’d lift it off the floor a few inches and drop it. Long story short, we were sans microwave for about 4 years before purchasing a new one.

  4. gina says:

    Never really pregnant but i remember experiencing unusually irrational fears related to PMS. One night, positive there was an intruder in the house, I climbed under the bed and remained there for a few minutes. Turns out there was no intruder, however the following week, my husband awakened me to say that he was sure he heard glass breaking. Because this was no longer during that precious time of the month, he sent ME down to get his shot gun. No problem putting me in harms way. I guess the male hormones were surging that week….

  5. Jillian says:

    I’m super emotional when pregnant, but it’s the few months after that I get truly nuts. When my son was born, I had an irrational fear of home invasions by zombies. My poor husband didn’t know whether to laugh or take me to therapy. One night it got so bad I barricaded the sliding gas doors. Yes I know there is no such thing, and in the daylight hours I could admit this, but at night, half awake/half asleep with a helpless infant to take care of… I was simply terrified that they were coming for me. In retrospect, maybe it had something to do with I Am Legend playing on a continuous loop on cable around that time.

  6. Tanya says:

    I insisted that we needed a mini-van about 6 month into my pregnancy with my second daughter. I looked at the van I wanted everyday for weeks and told my husband to order it. The weeks went by and I found out that he didn’t order the van and I freaked. I had to have that van! We were going to have two kids, our 4 door honda civic would never do! I finally got my way. It was just recently that I realized what a hormonal purchase that was. lol

  7. Teres says:

    That is really funny about the microwave. I REFUSED to use one while I was pregnant because I thought I was going to poison my baby if I ate microwaved food. UM. WTF? I had no problem with a glass of wine, but the microwave was out buddy!

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