I was watching the Academy Awards and all I could think about is poor six(ish?) months pregnant Natalie Portman having to sit through the entire night trying to pretend like she doesn’t have to pee like a race horse.
At that point in my pregnancy I was peeing once every ten minutes or so at work. It got to the point that I started switching up my restroom route because I was embarrassed for the same co-workers to see me toilet bound for the tenth time in an hour.
Can you imagine sitting on the front row of the Kodak Theatre in front of cameras that are televising to millions worldwide, trying to pretend like peeing and the seconds to the next commercial break aren’t the only thing on your mind? Not to mention the horror of having to get up to pee twelve times in front of, oh, I dunno, Brad Pitt? And those neverending speeches while having to pee so bad your toes hurt? The horror.
So while everyone else is talking about what Natalie is wearing I’m just wondering how she’s going to make it through all those nerve-racking hours until they announce her category.
Do you think Depends would show beneath Spanx? Hey. It’s a thought.
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