As I sit here on the eve of 6 weeks of pregnancy, I have realized how often the loss of my twins plays into this pregnancy. Even though I don’t want it too, even though I try to tell myself again and again that this time could be different, that worry solves nothing… the fact is, it’s there. Those thoughts are always going to be there now.
I share these with my therapist and I’m expected to work through them, but surprisingly I heard something that I didn’t expect:
“These are normal thoughts that every mother I’ve ever counseled who became pregnant again has.”
So I’m going to share them with you. I’m not looking for advice or comfort, but rather to shed some light on how it feels to go through this, and to hopefully give someone else reading the same, “Whew, I’m not crazy!” feeling that I got from knowing I wasn’t alone in this.
All in all, even though I talk about my fears and worries often because it’s so therapeutic for me, I really am thrilled. I try so often to let those thoughts play out, to honor what I went through and the reality of losing a baby, but then to remind myself that I could very well end up with another little one in 7ish months.
If you’re pregnant or considering trying to be after expereincing a loss, these are some of the thoughts and feelings you may have during this time. Know it’s ok, even if no one else understands.
nggallery template=’carousel’ id=’128866′
Top Photo Credit and to Purchase: Hope of my Heart via Etsy.com
MORE FROM DIANA: