The Pros and Cons of Adding Another Child

My baby fever is in overdrive this week. After a flurry of friends announcing that they are pregnant or having gorgeously round pregnant bellies I’m more convinced then ever that I want more children.

I am not sure if I am any closer to having more – but I think my husband and I are closer now then a few months ago.  At least we are closer to a decision – I think.

When my husband and I first started talking about the idea of adding another child into the mix we talked about what needed to happen for it all to come together. If there was anything specific holding us back from trying now. We came up with a list of things that, in an ideal world, would be what our life looked like before we decided to go for another child.

Both my husband and I are big ‘planners’ – we don’t generally like to leave things to chance. With our pregnancy history we can’t really leave the decision to add to our family up to chance either. Not to say that it can’t happen; we aren’t using any hormonal or barrier birth controls right now – but we are trying to not let it happen right now.

In our ideal world I would be planning to become pregnant sometime early 2012 – my husband doesn’t have a timeline but a to-do list that would be more of an indicator. Talking a lot about both of our feelings about our family size and timing has become a regular conversation in our house. Thankfully we are both open to each other’s opinions/thoughts so there is no stress around talking about this subject.

Some of the points on the ‘perfect world check list’ we can agree on – like reducing the chaos a bit in the house. At one point, not that long ago, we had three kids three years apart – which was a lot of work. A lot of sleep deprivation and crying and diapers and well, chaos.  We are just settling into a routine where our kids are older, a little more independent, sleeping better … and all toilet trained.

I guess where I worry though is that every level of raising kids – no matter what their age – there will be challenges, stresses and chaos. It kind of goes with the whole parenting thing. I worry that if we wait too long that when we do achieve that level of ‘lowered chaos’ that we (read ‘he’) will be too comfortable in that phase that going back to the newborn phase will be frightening.

I would love to hear about your family dynamics – do you have older kids spaced out or are your kids closer in age? Give me a pro/con list – I could use it!

Read more from Devan on Accustomed Chaos & Unspoken Grief
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Photo credit: Adapted from phonton_de via Flickr


Are we ready for baby? 10 signs that you’re both primed for parenthood

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