One of the most important jobs an adoptive family does is to attach to one another. A lot of water has passed under the bridge of our lives since the first awkward photo we took with Zinashi. We barely knew each other. We loved her, but she didn’t love us yet. We had to get to know each other and get close and prove to her that we were her family, forever. We are still proving to her that she is safe and we will never leave her. There have been a lot of transitions in the twenty-one months since we first held her in our arms. She has come a long way, and we truly feel like a family, but there is still work to do. We need to continue to nurture a healthy attachment.
There are many books and websites that give excellent information on what attachment is and how to go about it. I still refer back to the books I’ve read and make sure that we are on the right track. Different families will choose different tools to promote attachment. We feel quite strongly about some of our choices, but the main point is that if you work at attachment, you will end up with a happier, healthier family. For us, there are six things that we have done consistently that have deepened our attachment with Zinashi. We intend to do these same things with Elvie in order to cement our bond and give her an understanding of family.