This is part of an ongoing series of real women sharing their stories of infertility and hope. Today’s story is from the sweet Victoria, who I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know through our blogs. She’s been an amazing cheerleader through our struggle. Her story has me in tears (or course!). You see those sweet babes over there? They’re hers.
Once we made the decision that we were ready to have a baby it was all hope and excitement. We were young, in love and ready to grow. As the months passed by we became concerned, we were doing all the right “things” and still every month would come and go. As an attempt to figure out what was going on I purchased the book, Taking Charge of your Fertility. Which to this day is one of the best books I have ever studied. Whatever step you are in the process, buy this book and read everything in it. I began to learn how my body works, what to look for, what to worry about, and with the help of that book, over the next few months it became obvious that something was wrong.
Honestly, this period of time was the most difficult for us. That day you wake up and step into the first doctor’s office. When you move from, “we are trying, it’s just taking awhile” to “we cannot get pregnant, something is wrong”, it is a line no one thinks they will cross until they are there. It is a step that changes you, that begins to define you in some significant ways.
Sadly, our first doctors appointment went horribly. We were living in Seattle and went to a downtown office that I had heard good things about. The lady in the lab coat took one look at us and honestly laughed. We were young, 23, and she was convinced we should just relax and give it time. I will never forget how hopeless I felt leaving her office that day.
Over the next 18 months we moved states and eventually ended up at a new doctor’s office where we received a completely opposite reaction to our struggles. Instead of laughing, this doctor was kind, caring and very encouraging to us. It was here that I was diagnosed with endometrriosis and found out the reason why we could not conceive a child. After the initial tests and a bit of mourning on our part, we decided to move forward with IUI.
One cycle in and nothing positive had happened. Afterward, sitting down with our doctor he said, “we can keep at this but I am almost certain it is not subverting the actual issue”. He encouraged us to look into IVF, a procedure we had pre-determined that we would never do.
We promised to think about it and left. On a follow-up call our doctor began the discussion again which lead to us sitting in front of him a week later with our long list of concerns. IVF is a very invasive process and as Christians there were many issues that came up for us about where life begins that we needed to struggle through. Our doctor who was of a different faith than us was so kind to hear all of our concerns. Then he began to talk about how he could basically re-engineer the procedure to subvert our many issues. We would use different drugs and smaller dosages. We could complete the process in a way that we were comfortable with. I remember sitting there astounded. Firstly, that a procedure we thought we would never consider was now very much within our grasp. Secondly, that this doctor (the kindest doctor I have ever dealt with) was willing to change everything he normally does to help us be comfortable and have a baby.
After that day it was determined. We began the IVF process a couple weeks later. We grew and harvested two healthy eggs, both the eggs went right back in. In every step, the life of the fertilized eggs were honored and respected. Those two eggs are almost three-years-old now. They are my twins and the absolute joys of my life.
My encouragement in all of this… if you are struggling, keep seeking out help until you find the right doctor to work with you. Receiving help with infertility is an incredibly emotional process and having the right doctor (even if it means waiting a while longer) really will make all the difference in the world for your own journey.
If you want to share your story of infertility and hope, please send it to me to at firstname.lastname@example.org.