It has been almost three weeks since I miscarried my twins at 17 weeks.
When I was being released from the hospital childless, the specialist said, “We recommend that you wait until one full menstrual cycle before you try again.” I looked at my wife, completely confused, turned to the doctor and said, “Oh, we’re not trying again.” I was devastated and there was no way I was going to risk going through this living hell again.
The next day at home, two days after the miscarriage, I said to Sara, “I think I could consider trying again at some point.” After a lengthy conversation, we agreed that perhaps it was something we could do again in the future.
The following day, while Sara cooked us breakfast, I declared, “I want to try again.”
These past few weeks have been rough – physically and emotionally. But I’ve received so many sympathetic, kind, encouraging, loving, and hopeful words from so many people. All have helped us begin to heal, and some words stick out more than others. Specifically, “Give yourself the time to heal, and when it’s right, try again.”
I say we’ve begun to heal. And I don’t believe that anybody ever fully heals from this type of loss. Everyone handles it differently, on their own time, in their own way. But I do believe that each woman will know “when the time is right” for them to try again to have a baby.
For us, the time is now. Granted, ours is a unique story that involves fertility treatments and numerous “this first, then this” scenarios that often leave us in a holding pattern. So while “the time is now” sounds like the time is now, there are actually quite a few things that need to happen before a baby finds its way into my belly again. And these are what they are…
nggallery template=’carousel’ id=’129178′
Read more of Aela’s writing at Two Moms Make A Right.