Sometimes… Breastfeeding Isn’t Best
I met Alexa on a message board of other mothers in my local area, and have been extremely moved by what her newborn daughter has gone through in the past week, and I wanted to write about it. It all started with suspected baby acne and turned into a week long stay in the pediatric ICU.
With a newborn photography session booked, Alexa posted a picture of little Abby’s face and asked everyone if it looked like baby acne, and what she could do to clear it up. A little cream recommendations, a couple recommendations to use breast milk on the acne, and the typical advice to another Mom. After a trip to the pediatrician for little Abby’s 2 week well baby check up, it was determined that the suspected acne was not acne at all, but a staph infection. Alexa was heartbroken as any parent would be. A two week old newborn with a staph infection on her face.
Abby was able to go home for the night, and had to return to the pediatrician in the morning to see what call they would make, but at that point in time it looked like a minimum of two days in the NICU with IV antibiotics at the least. On top of the normal parental worry, having a little baby so uncomfortable is just never fun.
The next day Alexa checked in from the hospital sharing that Abby was in the Pediatric unit because of staph being an infectious disease, they could not put little Abby in the NICU. With an IV in place, and antibiotics going, and a culture out for testing, Mom and baby could only wait.
And waiting with a newborn that sick, is something a mother just never wants to do. Abby started to then react to Alexa’s breast milk. Not tolerating it, screaming, not eating, and it didn’t get any better. So now we have a sick baby, a breastfeeding issue, and a worried mother who is starting to feel like a failure because of the breastfeeding issue. Talk about a huge kick when you are down.
As her rash got worse, they switched Abby over to special formula, and Mom cut out all dairy products out of her diet for fear of a serious milk protein allergy.
Then the cultures started to come back.
Not a fungal rash, not a staph infection, not a simple milk protein allergy, but a severe milk protein allergy. The rash had started to get worse when Alexa took the advice of other mothers and used some breast milk on Abby’s face. Essentially she was poisoning her baby not only from the inside, but also from the outside. And she was heartbroken.
As I read the story, I remembered the difficulty I had with my second son. Five weeks old before we figured out he was allergic to my milk after a million and two dietary changes and restrictions. There was nothing we could do but switch to formula no matter how heartbreaking it was, or no matter how much I wanted to breastfeed. And here I was… after almost two full years of the guilt playing on me as a mother, I was watching another mother go through exactly what I did, expect at a much more scary and severe nature, especially with the hospital stay.
While Abby is finally home now, the damage has been done, not only to Abby, but also to her mother.
I am a very big breastfeeding advocate, I always have been, and always will continue to be, but there are some cases where we cannot say that breast is best because of these situations.
I have had 2 kids with severe mspi (milk soy protein allergy) and I have breastfed both of them. You have to commit to a very restricted diet, but it can be done. I know that is not for everyone, but you can still breastfeed if you want. There are guidelines, recipes, etc available to moms of MSPI babies. Good luck.
I’m sorry to hear about the difficulties that your friend is having. My son has food allergies as well. Can I post info about another site here? Tell her to check out Kids with Food Allergies if she hasn’t already. I found it to be a very valuable resource when I was figuring out how to cope with food allergies. Whether she goes the special formula route or elimination diet route she can get support from others who have been there. It sounds like she’s a great mom, working hard to figure out what’s going on with her daughter.
WOW how scary. I so glad they found out what was wrong and could find the solution. I am so sad for this mama who wears guilt. I hope she knows she is an awesome mama and did everything right. This is rare and she had no way of knowing.
Way to mother blame, mbeth. I’m so glad you are so much better than this poor mom. Except, not really. What part of “the breastmilk was poisoning the baby” do you not understand??? There was nothing about a soy protein allergy in here.
I was also unable to breast feed because of a milk protein allergy and while learning to deal with your child’s allergy is hard enough the judgment from other mothers is even harder. Everyone thinks it’s their cause in life to make sure you are informed of the benefits of breast feeding every time you whip out the bottle. And then when you explain why you aren’t breast feeding they start asking you how hard you try to eliminate the sources from your diet before moving to the “inferior choice of formula”. I was grateful for formula. While following a strict elimination diet I was miserable and my daughter still wasn’t improving the way her doctor wanted her too. As soon as we started on formula she became more alert, her skin cleared up, she gained weight and stopped vomiting every time we fed her. I became happier because my baby was healthy and eating was no longer a chore for either of us. So my advice isn’t for the mother struggling with the milk allergy, it’s for the other mothers who will comment on this blog…Let’s not judge. To each his own. Being a new mother, whether it’s your first or your twenty-first, is hard. We shouldn’t make it harder by judging a mother for her choice of breast or formula.
Breast milk is best in 99% of all cases. This condition is so rare, and the issue is really that the baby is allergic to something in the mom’s milk, not the milk. I wonder what the baby was really allergic to…
I don’t appreciate the headline and I don’t understand why you use words like “poisoning” if you are really a breastfeeding advocate.
This baby seems to have a rare condition, and that is very sad, but the headline is misleading. Once again Babble disappoints when featuring something about breastfeeding.
Breast milk has amazing healing properties and I have used it for pink eye and every scrape my kids gets. Works wonders.
We need more support for moms who want to breastfeed or struggle to breastfeed, we don’t need scare tactics.
Dagmar
Dagmar’s momsense
Oh, what a surprise, Similac is advertising right next to this article. How convenient to sell their wares right here…
Babble is just all about money, once again. I’m not surprised.
Dagmar
Dagmar’s momsense
My heart breaks for the mother, for her ill baby, and for any person reading this who misunderstands what the author left out.
There are VERY EXTREMELY RARE cases that a baby could be allergic to the milk and not something the mother is eating. I wish the article had mentioned that! Breastmilk and allergies is something the majority of women are uneducated about. If you think your child has an allergy to your milk, please get your baby blood tested to find out if you can eliminate foods. You are much more likely to get hit by a bus, or get hit by lightening than to not be able to breastfeed.
Taking out allergens in your childs diet and for it to clear out of your and your baby’s system could take WEEKS, so eliminating it for a few days may do nothing. Get tested, allergies are much more common than you may believe; breastmilk allergy is real, but highly unlikely.
Thumbs down to Danielle and to Babble.
It is incredibly sad that people will continue to judge mothers, and put more into this post than was meant. This is a true story, of someone I personally could relate to, and wanted to talk about this happening.
While it is a very small percent of mothers, or babies, it is sad that people will use this for altered motives.
What a horrible experience for all involved. I can only imagine how heartbroken and confused your friend must be, after going through so many left turns! My thoughts will be with her and her new little one. Thank God they figured it out…early… I would have never questioned “baby acne”. This is where Momma’s intuition comes in as a miracle!
It bothers me to no end that anyone could be so small minded to think Breast is always best. I am all for breast feeding. Both of my children were nursed past 2 years old. With that said, although breast feeding was best for my babies, it was not right for my Sisters 3 boys who all had severe milk allergies as well. She also continued to nurse, I “talked” her “out” of formula too many times to count… Thinking because my nursing experience was so wondrous, hers would be too! Not the case… with her first baby, it took 6 months of little to no weight gain, constant projectile spit up, colic like nobody could even imagine! She finally followed her instinct and switched to Soy formula. Second baby… same thing until about 4 months old… FINALLY, a doctor mentioned a possible allergy. With in days of the transitions to soy formula… both boys had put on a significant amount of much needed weight. In fact, in one months time their weights doubled. When boy #3 popped out, my Sister STILL attempted to breast feed. This time around, soy was started at 2 weeks old. No colic, no vomit, loads of weight… A HEALTHY BABY!
There are so many benefits to breast feeding…. Sadly, in this day and age, there are also many reasons not to breast feed. It is up to a Mommy to decide what is best for HER BABY. We have NO PLACE to be shoving our choices down another Mother’s throat. It is a major commitment to solely nurse…. I learned the hard way not to judge or push my ideas of what’s best onto another woman.
My stance now is… provide the information… listen if there is a question… support when Mom is struggling… and most of all…. I tell every mommy I come into contact with that “THEIR INTUITION IS NEVER WRONG!”
Elexa could have likely successfully breastfed had she followed a strict dairy elimination diet. If her baby was allergic to cows milk protein then simply removing it from her diet would have solved the problem. Now it’s important to know that dairy does not leave either the mothers system or the baby immediately after you stop eating dairy and thus it takes several weeks to clear one’s system. In severe cases of milk protein allergy you can temporarily give the baby hypoallergenic formula until the milk protein has had sufficient time to clear the mothers system then return to breastfeeding. During this time the mother can pump and dump to keep her supply up. It’s important to remember that when you illuminate things from your diet, it can take several weeks for them to be completely gone thus if you don’t give it enough time you may be mislead into thinking it’s your milk in and of itself that’s the issue rather your diet.
I agree with Dagmar and the others who are saying this is a sad story but a terrible article. It’s misleading, not to mention poorly written, with a big typo near the end — “_expect_ at a much more scary and severe nature.” (Does Babble even have editors?). I also think it’s kind of pointless. I mean, really, Danielle, what WAS your point in writing this? Does your friend really want her story plastered all over the Internet? Are you trying to “bash back” at breastfeeding advocates (which I thought you claimed to be?) who say “breast is best”? (By the way, that slogan did not originate with breastfeeding advocates but rather with formula companies who want exclusive breastfeeding to seem unreasonable and unattainable — I mean, who is the “best” mother? None of us! Also, “breast is best” sounds a lot better than “formula is inferior.”)
Did Babble (and their formula company sponsors) ask for a more “balanced” look at breastfeeding? Or did you just want to make yourself feel better because your son was also “allergic to your milk”? I mean, REALLY? Don’t you mean he was allergic to something IN your diet and therefore your milk? Of course it’s your choice to not do an elimination diet, and they can be very difficult. But in my opinion it’s worth it to make some changes — even severe changes — to your diet, and give them time to work, before resorting to artificial baby milk.
Most people don’t realize that milk protein allergy/intolerance is VERY common throughout the population because it often goes unrecognized and is called “irritable bowel syndrome” or “GERD” or “allergies.” Our bodies simply were not designed to digest the milk of another animal. Unfortunately, this issue is a huge roadblock to breastfeeding success in this country because so many moms (and everyone else) consume ridiculous amounts of cow’s milk dairy, at the urging of the dairy lobby, misinformed health care providers, and our government (which subsidizes the dairy industry with OUR tax dollars). If we want to talk about “poison,” let’s talk about all the additives, hormones, antibiotics, and contaminants in diary products and commercial baby milk. Not sensationalize one poor mom’s story as being “proof” that breastfeeding isn’t the normal and optimal choice for 99+% of human babies.
I just want to correct something in my last comment — I wasn’t aware the lengths to which Danielle eliminated foods from her diet while trying to breastfeed her second child. It truly is the mother’s choice, and I stand by my statement that it’s worth it to try, but from comments on FaceBook, it appears that Danielle did try, and hers was a complicated case. I also shouldn’t have implied that Danielle’s motives in writing this were less than pure — that was rude. But I get so riled up when I see the formula advertising on this site, and then read something that undermines breastfeeding, intentionally or not, especially from someone like Danielle who I *know* supports breastfeeding.
Common Sense is all we need here ladies. Breastmilk is best…as long as there is no allergic reaction to it. It makes perfect sense that this mom changed to formula…and thank God formula was available! Technology saved this little life! Years ago this baby would have died.
I am not sure why so many of you are so quick to think that Danielle is this horrible person who is advocating for people not to breastfeeding. This is MY story, MY child, and she had MY permission to share it. The quote, “sometimes breast isn’t always best” came directly from my highly-regarded pediatric hospitalist. The option to “simply eliminate foods from my diet” didn’t exist for me. I was told that if I ate anything with dairy, even inadvertently, I could cause my daughter to have an even more severe allergic reaction. So, if I ate a cake or cookie that happened to have some sort of dairy in it, I could chance possibly killing my daughter. Is that a risk you would take? The “poisoning my daughter” quote was taken directly from one of my posts. That’s what was happening, and my guilt was immeasurable. When Danielle approached me about writing our story, I was thrilled. I thought that by providing a different perspective on breastfeeding, maybe Abby’s experience would help other people come to terms with their own experiences. For some women, breastfeeding works. For others, it doesn’t. To judge someone based on surface information is ignorant and close-minded. In our case, breast truly isn’t/wasn’t best. Personally, I would much rather have a healthy child than a breastfed. In most cases, healthy and breastfed are one in the same; for us, they are not.
Before you break out your pitchforks and go after Danielle for promoting the use of formula and sensationalizing a poor mom’s experience, broaden your views and try to think of things from a different perspective. When faced with the choice of formula feeding and protecting your child, or breastfeeding and running the risk of causing a life-threatening allergic reaction, what would YOU do?
Danielle, I applaud you for understanding that there are exceptions to every belief, no matter how steadfast you may feel.
@Alexa – Thank you for your comment, and being open to sharing your story
The biggest problem I think is the title because it plays into the idea that it is a common occurrence for breastfeeding to be medically contraindicated. The whole “breast is best” slogan is false to start with. Breastfeeding is ALWAYS the norm, BUT when you come up against an abnormal & rare situation normal doesn’t apply. Alexa didn’t choose not to breastfed- circumstances out of her control took the choice from her. I understand Daniele’s desire to get Alexa’s story out there, but I just don’t think it was very well communicated that this was something rare. The reality is that for most moms & babies breastfeeding IS the norm but too many either don’t try to nurse or wean early because of misinformation.
One other thing I think needs to be said is that had Alexa never breastfed at all but used standard cows milk based formula this would have happened. So she would have been “poisoning” with either choice. It wasn’t the breastmilk that caused the problem but the severe milk protein allergy & that it was in her milk. There is a real possibility that had she started on regular formula-which contains WAY more of the allergen, the baby could have suffered much worse from the get go. So in this case you could say breastmilk was better than standard formula because it contained less of the allergen but that a specialized formula was “better” since it contained no milk protein.
Nursing Nazis make me ill. Seriously. Leave the poor mother alone.
I personally know how it feels to have a baby in the nicu, our little boy was there for 77 day (almost 3 months) for different reasons than the one mentioned above. Everyone should have the choice to nurse or not, it is up to the baby and mother. All I want to mention to you mothers is there most likely is a extremely high level of toxins in the mothers’ who’s milk is not tolerated. Perhaps its environmental, chemical, etc. This is not to judge, just to educate. I had to learn a lot and be open to things after our 2nd son was born early. I didn’t get angry just grateful for the new knowledge and experience so that #3 who is on her way will make her appearance at 38wks and not 28! There are ways to detox before your next baby and hopefully you will be able to have little to no morning sickness and your milk will be cleared from irritants for your next baby. Most MDs are not educated on the effects of toxins in the body and how they can hinder nursing or the baby’s health, etc. There are footpaths that can pull our toxins, cleanses, and top of the line supplements that can aid in your quest to detoxify. I hope this helps… good luck to you!
I think it should be pointed out that it is very rare for a baby to be allergic to breastmilk! There is usually somethingin mom’s diet which causes the problem, like cow’s milk for example. That said, in very rare circumstances, a baby can be allergic to the protein that breastmilk makes. Without formula, these babies would die! Such a heartbreak for momma to find out her milk was causing her baby to be sick.