Stage Four: I'm NumbMelanie Blodgett
I don’t want to use the word depression lightly so what I will make clear is that the type of depression that occurs a couple weeks out of each month for those dealing with infertility is a normal reaction to life’s struggles. But when the feelings of complete hopelessness become overwhelming, last for long periods of time, and keep you from leading a normal life, you should seek help from a medical professional.
When I hit this stage during the month it is very clear. I cry at nearly everything. For instance, tears have been shed while watching Ellen and a prize is given to her audience. Don’t even ask me about Price is Right. I constantly feel tired and sleep a lot. I see no reason for waking up in the morning. I feel really lonely. Moments of happiness are very brief. I’m extremely pessimistic and don’t feel a need to take prenatal vitamins or even going through more treatments. I lose interest in nearly everything. I’m snappy. The smallest thing can push me over the edge. One thing that I’ve noticed most recently is the feeling of complete numbness. No sadness, no happiness, just nothing.
Right next to anger, this is the most difficult time to deal with. I feel like so much of my time is wasted but it’s nearly impossible to get out of the funk. People in my life have definitely been understanding and supportive but their cheer-up actions even fail to help much.
So what can help? Distractions have been a good answer for me. Short trips. Changes to everyday routines. Fun dates with my husband. House hunting. I also always remember to exercise and be active.
What has proven helpful for you?
image: Gladys Marie
Read this woman’s story on being Infertile at 29: What it’s like succeeding at everything but IVF