Taking Care of You After Miscarriage

Today is the ‘should have been‘ due date of my son Triton. Though I lost him three years ago, on this day of the year it can be hard not to play the ‘what-if’ game in my mind. If we didn’t lose him we could be celebrating a third birthday today? We wouldn’t have our gorgeous Babe E with us. What would life be like with 2 boys and one girl?

I will never know the answers to these questions and I don’t like playing this game. It evokes anxiety. It brings on sadness but I have to be gentle with myself.  Over the past three years I have learned just how important it is to take care of yourself during grief. To allow yourself to feel what ever it is you feel, to acknowledge it and not push it to the side. That will only make it worse.

Click through for tips on how to take care of you after a miscarriage and on those inevitable triggering days:

Some may not realize that taking care of YOU after a miscarriage is not just important during the initial stages of miscarriage. It can last longer then the physical symptoms, then a few days, months or even years. There may be certain dates that trigger the emotions of grief and that might not ever change. It is important to allow yourself that space to feel the grief.

Talk: Talk about your feelings, your loss and your baby. To anyone. To us. Write it down. Talk to a partner, friend, doctor. Don’t keep your grief and feelings bottled in.

Ask for help: Don’t be shy to ask for help with whatever. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable especially to those closest to you.

Allow help: Allow your partner, friends and family to help if they offer. Let them bake you some meals, take you out if you feel like it. Accept their ear or shoulder.

Time: Give yourself time. Don’t try to put a time frame on when you will ‘feel better’ & don’t let anyone else put a time frame on you.

Find Calm: If you are relaxed – even temporarily it can help. Find a scented candle that relaxes you and light it; music that puts you at ease.

Please visit UnspokenGrief.com or join the community on Facebook if you need/want support after miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal loss.

You Might Also Want To Read: Life After Multiple Miscarriage

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