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The Best of Pregnancy Brain

So yesterday a funny thing happened: I made lunch for my two kids and then promptly threw both lunches in the trash. Then I walked around the kitchen wondering where the hell I put them. Then I accused my 5-year-old of moving them until I found them on the top of the kitchen trash. There is only one logical explanation for this idiotic behavior:

Pregnancy brain.

Pregnancy brain is not a medically proven phenomenon, but anyone who has ever been pregnant or lived with a pregnant woman knows it’s very, very real.  My explanation has always been that the normal blood flow to my brain is being hijacked by my uterus. I’ve heard other women say that they have two brains in their body but they’ve never been so dumb…something about competing for resources and your baby always wins!

A few months ago my friend Pregnant Chicken posted on her Facebook wall asking what pregnancy brain stories her followers had and I remembered the responses being hilarious. So last night, to make myself feel better about my own stupidity, I went back and combed through the stories from over a hundred moms.

And so I give you: The Best of Pregnancy Brain

(Pssst…if you think this is funny, please go Like Pregnant Chicken on Facebook and her other amazing pregnancy advice site, Ask the Chicks!)

  • Is Your Baby Making You Dumb? 1 of 17
    confused woman_caption2

    It's OK! You're not alone! Click through for the best stories of pregnancy brain.

  • Lost Mama 2 of 17
    compass

    I forgot how to drive home!! I had to call my husband to ask for the address. --Krissy

  • Eeeewwwww. 3 of 17
    Public restroom

    When I was pregnant I went to wash my hands in the toilet as it was flushing. --Keira

  • One Man’s Trash 4 of 17
    trash can, opened, top at side

    I walked around the house and collected clothes to put in the hamper from different rooms. A bit later I went to do laundry and couldn't figure out why the hamper barely had anything in it. I started looking for the clothes and found them all in the garbage bin! --Jana

  • This is my, uh, husband… 5 of 17
    Blank name tag isolated on white background with clipping path

    Whilst at a party I was introducing my husband to an old friend, all they got was a very awkward silence. I completely forgot my husband's name!!! --Monika

  • Expired! Or not. 6 of 17
    license

    I went to the DMV to renew my license because it was expiring. Stood in line and all, got up there it didn't expire for two more years! Who does that?! --Melissa

  • Say My Name 7 of 17
    confused woman_caption

    Once I introduced myself to a business associate by my middle name (which I have never used). Then I had to decide whether to correct the error or just go with it. I went the honest route but probably should not have b/c it was apparent that he thought I was crazy after I corrected myself. --Whitney

  • No. Just…no. 8 of 17
    Gallon of Milk

    I left the milk on the dryer somehow, and later that day I almost used it as detergent. I didn't realize until I noticed the cap was too small to be detergent. --Kylie

  • Breakfast of Champions 9 of 17
    lucky charms

    I poured cooking wine on my daughters lucky charms. --Sandra

  • Ho Ho Ho 10 of 17
    car keys

    I wrapped my car keys as a Christmas gift. --Jessica

  • Where’s the clicker? 11 of 17
    Remote control

    I put the TV remote in my purse where my cell phone usually goes, then accused my poor husband of losing it. Found it the next day at work. --Ashley

  • Hellooooo? 12 of 17
    cell pone

    Searched for my cell phone for a good 15-20 minutes while I was TALKING ON IT and the person finally asked what I was looking for. She informed me politely that she had called me on it, and to look in my hand.  --Kimberly

  • My eyes! My eyes! 13 of 17
    Nail polish remover plastic bottle

    Nail polish remover as makeup remover...it's a miracle I didn't go blind. --Sarah

  • It’s Gettin’ Hot in Here 14 of 17
    fresh shower

    A full shower with my underwear and bra on. More than once. --Michelle

  • So. Gross. 15 of 17
    coffee_cup

    Put egg beaters in my coffee instead of half n half. Like my nausea wasn't bad enough... --Abby

  • Woooops 16 of 17
    Sterile medical container for biomaterial

    The other day I had to collect a urine sample.... Forgot to pee in the cup! --Nicole

  • That’s hot, yo. 17 of 17
    oven

    Took the cookie sheet out if the oven with no pot holder. --Samantha

Source credit: Pregnant Chicken!

Photo credit: iStock

Read more of Claire’s writing at Rants from MommylandAnd for even more silliness follow her on FacebookTwitter, and Pinterest.

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