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The Game of 20 Questions, For Our Sperm Donor

Our first appointment with the fertility center is quickly approaching (two days away!), and my wife and I have been wondering what kind of questions sperm donors have to answer when they fill out their paperwork. We assume that medical history, physical characteristics, and other such pertinent but boring information is gathered. But what about the tidbits that make people interesting? After visiting with my parents this past weekend and having an in-depth discussion with them about the details of choosing a sperm donor, Sara and I got thinking: What if we could ask our sperm donor any questions we wanted to, aside from (what we’re assuming is) the usual Q&A? So we came up with these 20 questions while driving back from my parents’ house. What would you ask if you were in our position?

 


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  • When you were a little boy, what was the first thing you remember wanting to be when you grew up? 1 of 20
    When you were a little boy, what was the first thing you remember wanting to be when you grew up?
    We both agree there's something wonderfully sweet about this question, even if it isn't terribly revealing, and we're convinced the answer will be far more interesting than whatever he currently does for a living.
    Photo: State Library and Archives of Florida
  • What is the history of the relationship with your mother? 2 of 20
    What is the history of the relationship with your mother?
    They say (whoever they are) that you can tell a lot about a man from his relationship with his mother. We think it's a fair gauge of character, too.
    Photo: Gregg OConnell
  • How old were you the first time you had sex? 3 of 20
    How old were you the first time you had sex?
    I like what this question reveals about our donor socially, and possibly even morally.
    Photo: Alex E. Proimos
  • Do you have any children of your own whose lives you are an active part of? 4 of 20
    Do you have any children of your own whose lives you are an active part of?
    It would be interesting to know if he's already a family man, as my wife and I suspect most donors are not.
    Photo: robeposse
  • What’s your idea of a perfect date? 5 of 20
    What's your idea of a perfect date?
    Sara and I are both hopeless romantics and love any date that's not painfully typical. If he said "dinner and a movie," it might be a deal breaker.
    Photo: Thomas R. Stegelmann
  • Do you prefer to be alone or with people? 6 of 20
    Do you prefer to be alone or with people?
    While "me time" is certainly an important part of life and while it's great if he's comfortable being with himself, we'd like our donor to be as sociable as we are.
    Photo: bexross
  • How long has your best friend been your best friend? 7 of 20
    How long has your best friend been your best friend?
    Like the mother question, stable relationships tell a lot about a person. And we'd like to know he's capable of them.
    Photo: Lori Photography
  • Do you have any gay relatives? 8 of 20
    Do you have any gay relatives?
    I don't know the latest of exactly where science stands with this question, but I know it's more and more believed that there's a "gay gene." We'd like to know if our child would have it on both sides.
    Photo: Guillaume Paumier
  • Who, if anyone, knows you’re a sperm donor? 9 of 20
    Who, if anyone, knows you're a sperm donor?
    We have no shame in conceiving this way. We'd like for our sperm donor to not feel ashamed about donating his sperm even if it is just for money.
    Photo: stevendepolo
  • What gives you the biggest thrill in life? 10 of 20
    What gives you the biggest thrill in life?
    My wife is full of passion for CrossFit and everything that comes with it. I'm less interesting when it comes to being "thrilled." It'd be great to know where on the spectrum our sperm donor falls.
    Photo: DRAMOS19
  • What are your views on homosexuality? 11 of 20
    What are your views on homosexuality?
    We'd have to ask Alanis Morissette to rewrite her song Ironic if it turned out our donor was a homophobe.
    Photo: Fibonacci Blue
  • What do you do in your free time? 12 of 20
    What do you do in your free time?
    When nothing's being asked of you, how you spend the time that's all your own tells us a lot.
    Photo: Martin Pettitt
  • Cats or dogs? 13 of 20
    Cats or dogs?
    Acceptable answers for us would include 1) cats 2) dogs 3) both 4) all animals. Unacceptable would be an answer of "neither" or "none." It's hard to trust people who don't like animals.
    Photo: normanack
  • Do you like to work out? 14 of 20
    Do you like to work out?
    My wife has a love affair with working out (I enjoy it 80 percent of the time, but 20 percent of the time it's an absolute chore). She'd love it if our donor also found sweating fun.
    Photo: SuperFantastic
  • How many miles from your family (parents/siblings) do you live? 15 of 20
    How many miles from your family (parents/siblings) do you live?
    Neither of us lived out of our home-state for very long and we are tortured with winters we don't enjoy, simply so we can live close to our families.
    Photo: Kevin Hutchinson
  • Are you an early bird or a night owl? 16 of 20
    Are you an early bird or a night owl?
    We're already one of each (at heart, at least, but the real world dictates that we both be early birds).
    Photo: MyAngelG
  • What type of family were you raised in? 17 of 20
    What type of family were you raised in?
    I believe less and less that this tells anything about a person, but my nosiness can get the best of me sometimes.
    Photo: p_x_g
  • If you had any superpower, what would it be? 18 of 20
    If you had any superpower, what would it be?
    Without a doubt, mine would be to create a direct road that only belonged to me to appear anytime I needed to go anywhere. I love to drive, but I get unnaturally upset when people don't use their blinkers. Or drive under the speed limit. A road all to myself = heaven.
    Photo: b1gw1ght
  • What are your views on our military? 19 of 20
    What are your views on our military?
    I don't believe in war, but I very much believe in our troops and think that our vets deserve much more than our country provides them when they return.
    Photo: DVIDSHUB
  • What is your musical taste? 20 of 20
    What is your musical taste?
    As long as it didn't include any artist or genre that yells, like heavy metal or angry rap, we'd be good to go!
    Photo: jster91

Main Photo: Marco Belluci

Read more of Aela’s writing at Two Moms Make A Right

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More of Aela on Babble!
Let’s Go Shopping For Sperm! Day 1 at the Fertility Center
‘Twas the Night Before the Fertility Center

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