The Grammys: 5 Reasons Why My Pregnant Wife Shouldn't WatchJohn Cave Osborne
“I can’t wait to watch the Grammys tonight,” my wife said enthusiastically this morning. These days, I normally take whatever enthusiasm I can get. It’s been a tough go of it, and a happy pregnant wife is a good thing. Regardless of what it is that’s bringing her happiness. But truth be told, I was hoping that somehow, someway, the Grammys would fly beneath her radar this year.
Because while there are countless reasons why you should, indeed, watch the Grammys tonight, there are five reasons why my pregnant wife should not.
- 1) The wardrobes: It’s a lock that virtually every single female performer will look absolutely gorgeous tonight, effortlessly slinking around in whatever high-dollar item it is she happens to be wearing. Many of them will grace the more than once, looking equally breathtaking in multiple ensembles. Yet my wife recently spent 3 hours shopping for maternity clothes in A Pea in a Pod a came away with nothing. As in NADA. Zip. Goose egg. A constant complaint during this pregnancy has been how awful she thinks she everything looks on her. The sad part is that my wife is gorgeous and could manage to look hot in even a burlap sack. So she always looks stunning to me. No matter what she’s wearing. Yet she somehow fails to see it that way. I have a feeling that all of tonight’s outfits will do nothing but reinforce her irrational belief.
- 2) The bodies in the clothes: Of course, high-dollar digs means that there’s a rocking little body underneath those high-dollar digs. And right now, my wife isn’t thrilled with the rocking little body she’s been blessed with. Need I say more? Well, I will. I love the way Caroline’s body looks right now. She’s incredibly fit and, quite frankly, she looks more beautiful than ever. If only she could see that.
- 3) It’s a long, long show: And suffice it to say that no matter how much ice cream we have, I doubt it will be enough to carry her through its entirety. And should that prove to be the case, yours truly will likely be making a 10 o’clock, frozen-dairy run.
- 4) The waterworks: If the clothing, tight bodies and lack of ice cream don’t trigger a meltdown, I’m sure that any number of tonight’s emotionally charged performances will manage to do just that. I hope we have enough tissues.
- 5) The singing: Caroline is many things. Avid singer is one of them. Good singer, however, is not. And while it’s a given that she’ll be belting out many of the songs she hears tonight, it’s also a given that I’ll be sitting right next to her for these bedroom renditions. Usually, Caroline is a-okay with me laughing at her singing. Hormone-fueled sensitivity, however, suggests that tonight will not be such an occasion. A poorly timed snicker on my end could lead to a DEFCON 1 meltdown on hers.
But she’ll be watching despite these five prudent reasons which suggest that perhaps she shouldn’t be. The upside is that we’ll be entertained. The downside? Well, I’m not quite sure yet. But I’ll keep you posted.