Since several of you inquired about how telling my in-laws went on Saturday, I figured I’d do a little follow up to fill you all in.
First, I cannot begin to describe how nervous I was about this. I pretty much cowered on the couch all day until it was time to go. My husband was equally worried. My sister-in-law sent us a text a few hours before telling us that SHE was worried on our behalf.
That’s how ridiculously serious this whole thing was.
We drove the hour and a half to their house and settled in to chat. My husband was charged with telling them because no way was I going to be the harbinger of that news, but he insisted on waiting for his sister to arrive. His sister who was running super late. So in the meantime I had to decline drinks and appetizers that I couldn’t eat (smoked fish) and we had to make small talk when there was absolutely only one thing on our minds.
Finally after what seemed like a lifetime, my sister-in-law, nieces and nephews arrived and we sat down to dinner. Dinner that I totally couldn’t eat. It was a Yom Kippur break fast dinner and all the options contained either eggs (which I’m allergic to, which my mother-in-law knows) or foods outlawed for pregnant women, primarily smoked fish. So I ate bagels quietly while I waited for my husband to just tell them already.
In the middle of a conversation that I wasn’t really listening to, but had something to do with habits running in families, my husband out of the blue blurted out, “speaking of things that run in families, Katie’s pregnant.”
My nephew broke the silence laughing and soon after my in-laws replied with “are you serious?” That seems like a funny question but considering that my husband has made jokes about me being pregnant in the past, I cannot blame them for asking. And we confirmed that yes, I was in fact pregnant.
And then something strange happened.
They congratulated us.
And started talking about baby names (because to quote my mother-in-law “that the only fun part about a pregnancy.” I’m not sure she’s wrong). For the rest of the evening everyone was polite. And happy. My mother-in-law gave me pregnancy advice and my sister-in-law disagreed with everything she said. It was like I had entered the Twilight Zone.
We finally left for the evening at around 9, but my sister-in-law stayed, and we knew why. Because as soon as we left, the judgements we had expected, began. All the things that we thought we were going to be lectured on were saved for after we left, though my sister-in-law says that they weren’t as critical as she expected, so I suppose there’s that. While I greatly appreciate that they were polite to our faces, I almost wish that they had shared their concerns with us instead of with my sister-in-law so we could at least address their concerns like adults. And so I could say all the things I had mentally been preparing all week.
We are currently expecting a phone call any day now from them because that’s standard procedure. After a cooling off period they’ll call and tell us the things that are wrong, but even still there’s no question that we lucked out. Big time. I guess my presences really did spare my husband the lecture after all.
It was a pretty fantastic surprise. Let’s hope the niceties continue for the next 7 months. Or you know, 30 years.