The Second Time Around


When Paul and I took Jackson to the beach for the first time, it was for a family reunion. There was a bunch of us: kids, grandkids, great grandkids. Loads of fun. Lots of family. And about a gajillion wonderful memories.

But there is one thing I would do differently… I would’ve plunked a newly walking Jackson into the sand bare bummed.

Just to do it, ya know? I didn’t. I can’t remember why I didn’t and I don’t even feel like it was a conscious thought to NOT do that. I just didn’t do it.

And I regret it.

Which leads me to my current dilemma…

What do I want to make sure I do this time around with regards to this new baby who is going to be entering our lives in the spring? What books should I be reading or re-reading? Do I consider a VBAC for this baby? Given my history with Jackson, do I give breast feeding another shot? How do I want this birthing experience to go?

I suppose the bigger question here is: Is there ever a way to make certain that you have no regrets?

When you’re bringing another child into this world, I’m learning that you’re being gifted not only with another life, but an entirely new experience. (Don’t ask me why this reality didn’t sink in before now. I have no idea.) So is this my chance to do things the same with this pregnancy? Is this my opportunity to do something entirely different?

At this point in time there really is only one thing that I know for sure, and that is that my next child will experience the beach for the first time with a naked rear.