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The Seven Months Pregnant Blues

By Monica Bielanko |

I am absolutely miserable.  At 28 weeks along I have not slept two consecutive hours in a week.  I have long since kicked my husband to the guest bedroom.  Thank God for the guest bedroom!  And no, it’s not his sleep I’m worried about.  I’m heaving my body from one hip to the other at least every five minutes and I don’t have the energy to be concerned about whether my next movement is going to disturb him.

I cannot find a comfortable position.  Of course the stomach is out.  So is the back.  It’s right side or left which begs the question which hip hurts the least right now?  The answer changes every five minutes, hence the heaving from one side to the other.

And the peeing, my God, the peeing.

The urge strikes once or twice an hour.  I wait, wait, wait because it’s so hard to heave my body out of bed and finally, when I can’t take it another second, I roll to my side and lumber out of bed to pee the one teaspoon of pee I’m allotted as a  seven months pregnant woman and then it’s back to bed to wait the twenty minutes for the second teaspoon to announce its arrival.

It’s deceptive, the urge to pee.  It comes on like a freight train and hurts so bad you think that surely you are about to pee buckets.  And then…  drip, drip, drop.  And done!

Several times a day I contemplate two more months of full-time work and this being pregnant business and I have myself a silent little panic attack all up in my head.  Omigod, omigod, OH MY GOD how will I make it?

Yeah sure.  It sounds all drama queen to you but I’ve really hit a wall over here.  And I thought the second trimester was supposed to be the best part of being pregnant.  Which yes, I guess it is but that’s like saying Charles Manson was the best serial killer out of Ted Bundy and John Wayne Gacy because he killed less people.  They’re all bad!  Bad, bad, bad!  Trimesters, serial killers the whole lot of them suck.

I’m thinking the third trimester may be best because you’re closing in on the finish line, you know?  The light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter.  Right now it’s so far away, just a tiny pinpoint of light.  Come here little light.  I need you to get here sooner.  Like, now!  No?  How about now?  Now?  What about now?

Someone help me.

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About Monica Bielanko


Monica Bielanko

Monica Bielanko was raised on the wild frontier of late 1970's Utah. She is a recovering Mormon who married the guitar player of an unknown band. She's been married to her Babble Voices writing partner, Serge Bielanko, for the past nine years. Her personal blog, The Girl Who was in the top ten of last year's Top 50 list. Read bio and latest posts → Read Monica's latest posts →

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0 thoughts on “The Seven Months Pregnant Blues

  1. laura says:

    lol about trimesters and serial killers. I’m right there with you (29wks today). But I’m torn. The end of pregnancy means the beginning of 24/7 breasteeding while taking care of a toddler. Also…it’s more like three months of full time work unless you are starting your maternity leave early. I’m also just planning on going past my due date again so I won’t be as disappointed to show up at work on my due date.

  2. Ann Lowen says:

    Charles Manson is NOT a serial killer. He was sentenced for NOT killing anybody. According to the prosecution he hypnotised his people to kill, which is a load of bunk. It’s all myth.

  3. MonicaBielanko says:

    Oh my. Offending a Charles Manson fan. That’s a first.

  4. Anna says:

    I’m thirty weeks and I feel your pain. Even worse, my husband is so excited about the whole thing he can’t quite understand the pain/ pee/ exhaustion thing and wonders why I am not more excited. I realise that my pregnancy was relatively easy until 27 weeks and then I got slammed. One thing that has helped me with the weight of my ginormous stomach is a tubi grip and support belt. After a week, I felt so much better. Can’t help with the peeing or the heartburn (both of which are my personal faves as well). To make you feel better, I’ll share my pain. Yesterday was 40 degrees, no air conditioning (I’m a school teacher) and I discovered what swollen ankles are. Take care xo

  5. Henry Lee Lucas says:

    Hi.You could use my name if you want! Hope everyone had a great Turkey Day!

  6. Annie says:

    I lost my twins when I was 17 weeks along. I wish I could take all your pain and exhaustion if only I could have my boys back.

  7. agirlandaboy says:

    Seven months was the magical time at which I became super uncomfortable, plus very verbal about it. I wish I could have hypnotized some people into giving me a daily back massage.

  8. Lindsey says:

    Dying about the pissed off Manson fan.

  9. Danielle says:

    You will make it. One day at a time. Just focus on getting through each day, don’t think about how much longer you have to go.

  10. katie allison granju says:

    How in God’s name did you manage to attract the world’s one and only Manson apologist as a reader to your pregnancy blog? That’s truly impressive ;-)

  11. bladder infection says:

    Sounds like you have a bladder infection. Also, stop any caffeine intake to make those bladder spasms stop. Add cranberry pills from a health store or look around for them at Walmart. You really don’t have to suffer this way. Another idea, but your husband back in bed with you so you can through a leg up on him and take the pressure off your hips.

  12. MonicaBielanko says:

    It’s a skill, Katie. Truly a skill. Next time you visit Zion I’ll try and teach you. And then we’ll go get drunk and wander around Temple Square.

  13. E @ Oh! Apostrophe says:

    Your post cracks me up! I’m 23 weeks and not looking forward to sleeping getting worse because it’s already so uncomfortable! Also cannot believe the Charles Manson comment. No words.

  14. Lesley says:

    Am feeling your pain. Literally. 29 weeks 2 days with twins.

  15. Ninabi says:

    The world needs a better pregnancy guide. Yours.
    “What trimester are you in? The Bundy, the Gacy or the Manson?”

  16. MonicaBielanko says:

    @Ninabi Well, according to the second comenter the Manson apparently isn’t a legitimate trimester. I’m entering the third trimester which I’m thinking is the Gacy.

  17. Christina Mastin says:

    I am right there with you. Granted I like being pregnant but OMG what I would give for a solid thirty minutes of sleep, any time of the day. :(

  18. gina says:

    one of my GF’s happens to be married to a man with the last name Manson. I would think that it’s difficult for any man to walk around with that last name, only to pass it on to his wife and child. Bundy is easier thanks to Al and Peg Bundy. Less of a stigma there unless the pure idiocy annoys you. But Man-son. Nah. You don’t even wanna carry around one of those. Gacy isn’t even as offensive. Those poor mothers.

    I am sorry about the discomfort Monica. Been saying you should don a pull-up and forget about it. Eventually you will SLEEP again!

    Have a nice day anyway.

  19. gina says:

    PS. Manson is actually a good strong sounding name. Sad that one man can do so much damage, literally and figuratively. Hopefully there are many good Mansons in the world.

  20. (London) Amanda says:

    For your peeing problem – I was a big cranberry fan until I discovered D Mannose and I don’t bother with the cranberry any more. I find D Mannose fantastic, so you should give it a try. The best brand I’ve found is called Waterfall D-Mannose (in the UK) and I think the powder is better than the tablets. it even tastes nice. Says it’s safe to take while pregnant. I absolutely swear by it.

  21. anajo says:

    yeap, I agree with Amanda, it could be some bladder infection, ask your doctor, and it helps taking magnesium & potassium, check this as well with your doc, it helps me a lot… sending good thoughts to you & take care and try relax.

  22. Jill says:

    I’m right there with you. At 38 weeks I am really tired of the heaving from hip to hip. I have found that an egg crate foam mattress topper helped a bit (very cheap at target). I’m sure the pricier memory foam topper would help even more. At this point I think I’m ready to drink castor oil or something crazy to get this thing going, but this is #3 and I’m totally afraid its gonna put me over the edge….

  23. X says:

    For those of you who still think Charles Manson is guilty or murder, read this book “Crucified: The Railroading Of Charles Manson” for some interesting facts. The book in PDF format can be found at this link:

    Now, go rub yourselves silly.

  24. whimm says:

    For the love of god DO NOT use the memory foam. They are a pregnant woman’s worst nightmare. You sink down in there, and then it molds itself all around you, and then you’re really screwed for the flip over. You have to haul yourself up a few more inches at least. It’s brutal.

  25. MonicaBielanko says:

    @X I’m SO clicking that link. Not really! Rub ourselves silly? Um? Okay? Does that help with seven-months-pregnant hip pain? I’ll try anything! Except maybe reading stuff written my Charles Manson apologists.

  26. Jordi says:

    I’m 23 weeks along with my second daughter and LOVING this site. I just found it and will share it with my other knocked up pals. This post ‘killed’ me! (Smiley face!) Can’t wait for more from you Ladies.

  27. robyn says:

    Definitely get checked out for a bladder infection. A relative of ours had a disastrous ending to her pregnancy at 24 weeks because of an undiagnosed bladder infection.

    Sorry to be Debbie Downer.

    I’m way behind you in my second pregnancy but it wasn’t that long ago that I was bringing my first home, and I remember distinctly thinking in those first few nights of screaming that I would very much like to put him back in my belly so he would be quiet. Did you have those moments with Violet? If so, maybe it will help you appreciate where he is now, safe and warm and very, very quiet.

  28. MonicaBielanko says:

    I’m certain it’s not a bladder infection. I’ve had one of those. This is just your routine horror of peeing every twenty minutes when pregnant.

  29. Santos says:

    With all that peeing, maybe you have a bladder infection?

  30. Maureen says:

    It’s been twenty-one years since I was last pregnant, but I remember picking my pregnant belly up off my bladder when I was done peeing and I always got more out. It bought me a little more time before having to haul myself out of bed yet again.

    I love your writing- follow you over here from your blog. I wish I had had a virtual community when I was having babies. I am reliving it all over again through you guys.

  31. gina says:

    Urinary frequency/urgency is common and normal during pregnancy. Suggestions: ” Your best bet is avoiding diuretic fluids that can contribute to the sense of urgency you feel when you have to pee. These include caffeine products like tea, soda or coffee. You might try consuming most of your fluids during the day to reduce the number of trips you have to make to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

    When using the bathroom, you may find it helps to lean forward a bit to ensure you completely empty out your bladder. Many women find they have to pee again shortly after a visit to the bathroom simply because they were not able to empty their bladder fully. This is more common in the later stages of pregnancy.

  32. Jaclyn says:

    Get this pillow:

    I’m 28 weeks too and it’s the only way I get any sleep at night. $70 is a lot for a pillow, yeah, but sooo worth it.

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