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10 Things Pregnant Women WISH They Could Say

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05

There is something about the sight of a pregnant woman that makes people want to talk to them. I don’t know why this is. There’s no other physical condition that invites the kind of intimate questions, comments, and confessions that pregnancy does. I mean, no one would see a stranger with their arm in a sling and give them a detailed account of their own compound fracture. Nor would they tell a person wearing glasses all about their experience choosing an eye doctor. And you sure as hell wouldn’t tell a woman with an engagement ring on all about your own wedding night. But pregnancy? Makes the world an Over Sharing Zone. Or, worse, a Stupid Cliche Zone.

I like to think that people immediately regret saying something like “You look like you’ll pop any minute!” when they realize how trite – and insensitive – it sounds. But the fact remains that people say these things and pregnant women have no choice but to politely respond to them, even if it is through clenched teeth.

Here are a few of the responses I WISH I could give to people who say dumb stuff to pregnant women.

  • Birth plans = personal choices 1 of 10
    Birth plans = personal choices
    Not fodder for criticizing other women!
    Photo Credit: photo stock, Caption by Rebekah Kuschmider
  • Hands Off! 2 of 10
    Hands Off!
    I'd get offended if you grabbed my butt, too!
    Photo Credit: photo stock, Caption by Rebekah Kuschmider
  • Cease Fire! 3 of 10
    Cease Fire!
    Can't we just end the Epidural Wars already?
    Photo Credit: photo stock, Caption by Rebekah Kuschmider
  • The Pregnant Glow 4 of 10
    The Pregnant Glow
    It's really just a light sheen of sweat from trying to hoist up from the couch.
    Photo Credit: photo stock, Caption by Rebekah Kuschmider
  • Pop this, Buddy. 5 of 10
    Pop this, Buddy.
    "You look ready to pop!" is the single most annoying thing anyone has ever said to me while pregnant.
    Photo Credit: photo stock, Caption by Rebekah Kuschmider
  • As If Pregnant Women Don’t Barf Enough 6 of 10
    As If Pregnant Women Don't Barf Enough
    Games that mimic poopy diapers? No, thanks. At my shower, we played Baby Scattergories. Way less gross!
    Photo Credit: photo stock, Caption by Rebekah Kuschmider
  • There’s no “We” In “Pregnant” 7 of 10
    There's no "We" In "Pregnant"
    *We* are expecting. But only *I* am carrying this child.
    Photo Credit: photo stock, Caption by Rebekah Kuschmider
  • Cool It with the Sex Ed Lecture. 8 of 10
    Cool It with the Sex Ed Lecture.
    Want to offend a mother with more that one kid? Joke about "how pregnancy happens".
    Photo Credit: photo stock, Caption by Rebekah Kuschmider
  • Is Nothing Sacred? 9 of 10
    Is Nothing Sacred?
    I can handle a lot in the bodily fluid department but mucous plugs? Should remain forever shrouded in mystery.
    Photo Credit: photo stock, Caption by Rebekah Kuschmider
  • Do Not Disturb 10 of 10
    Do Not Disturb
    Any woman who wants her MIL around for the birth will say so. If she hasn't? The answer is no.
    Photo Credit: photo stock, Caption by Rebekah Kuschmider

Read more from Rebekah at Mom-in-a-Million, The DC MomsThe Broad Side
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All photos: photo stock

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