I try not to succumb to gender discrimination. Truly, I try hard. But I’m going to be entirely honest with you here, the chance that I may become the mother to a baby girl scares the pants back on me.
If this baby is a girl, which the vast majority of my friends and family seem to think it is, then I may have a slight panic attack. In fact, I’m already getting sweaty palms while just typing this post.
Girls are scary. Sometimes even terrifying. I know this because I’m a girl and there are times I scare myself. While I understand that mothering a boy is no better or worse than mothering a girl (and vice-versa), I also understand that the differences in mothering the two genders can each bring about their own challenges.
Don’t get me wrong, I love women. I am amazed by women on a daily basis. I think we are the most powerful beings on the planet… and yet I have genuine concerns about mothering a daughter one day.
The world is terrifying. It’s enormous and creepy and exhilarating. I have a lot of baggage when it comes to protecting those I love. (Trust me, years of therapy has helped, but the baggage is still there. It never goes away.) When I consider bringing a female into this world… (((sigh))) I just don’t know.
I worry. A lot. I try not to be consumed by worry, but at this stage in the game, worrying goes hand-in-hand with raging hormones and it’s just as hard to ignore.
There are times (rare times) when I find myself hoping that this baby is a girl. I think about the incredible relationship I have with my own mother, and the opportunity to build a relationship like that one day. What my mom and I have is truly a gift beyond what words can convey. I fantasize about raising a strong, aware, and empowered girl who can take on absolutely anything.
My fear has a tendency to overwhelm me though, and when it comes to imagining what it would be like to parent a girl in this day and age, I want to run away and cower in a corner. I’m scared, plain and simple.
I love a good challenge just as much as the next person does, but this possibility of our baby being a girl… phew… it leaves me at a loss at this moment in time.
Parents of girls, what say you? Parents of both boys and girls, what say you? Parents of only boys, can you relate? Anyone have insight to offer? Book recommendations? Therapists’ phone numbers?
Image via Flickr