The average couple has sex more than 100 times before becoming pregnant, according to a U.K. study. That’s approximately four times a week for six months. And for one out of ten couples polled, attempts involved the future dad being called home during the work day to do the deed.
Yet 70% of couples said they wanted their babies to be borne of spontaneous sex acts inspired by love and desire rather than scheduled sex for reproductive purposes.
Do you know when your baby was conceived? I’m pretty sure I do.
My son’s origins were super-romantic. We were on an extended late honeymoon in Italy, stretched longer and longer because both of us were unusually free of other commitments at the time. The last couple of days were prime fertile time for me, and I think I can trace it to the actual afternoon. I woke up that night with some strange boob tingling I hadn’t felt before, and didn’t feel again until I started breastfeeding. Maybe I’m crazy, but I wonder if my body was somehow getting the message that there was a baby brewing and kicking into gear.
My daughter’s conception was not quite so glamorous. She was a home-made baby. I was taking my temperature before getting out of bed in the morning and doing all kinds of gnarly checks to see when I’d be ready to conceive. I was also drinking cranberry juice which I’d heard made conceiving a girl more likely. A far cry from the Negroni Sbagliatos I was drinking in Rome. The mood was somewhat less free-wheeling, as well.
Both times I was lucky to have gotten pregnant the first month I tried. I’ve always heard that six months is average. I’d never actually tried to calculate how many attempts that translated to. A hundred is a pretty hefty number. It’s easy to see how the romance can fly out the window after the first month. People always suggest couples try to forget the reproductive part and get back to the sexy stuff, appreciate the fact that you “get” to do it so often. But that is way easier said than done. (See recent discussion of stress as an impediment to conception, and discussion of stress as an impediment to conception as a generator of stress). I wonder if women had more awareness about their fertility (using the above-mentioned gnarly methods, per Taking Charge of Your Fertility) would it take less time? Or maybe just fewer attempts. I just don’t know if that would be a good thing or a bad thing.
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