My Sonogram Scares Me
A parent obsesses over her baby's ultrasound.
Is it normal for babies to have a recessed chin and the appearance of an overbite? I am twenty-three weeks pregnant with my first baby boy and he appears to have both of these characteristics in the last two sonograms. I’m embarrassed to even ask this and feel guilty for doing so, but for some reason I’ve been obsessing over this since my last sonogram. My primary concern is the overbite that appears to be present. Is this normal or is the recessed chin making the overbite appear stronger?
One more silly question, the ultrasound technician commented (unsolicited) on how large and “prominent and sharp” the baby’s nose is. In the first picture, I don’t see it. But the second picture I can see where she would say that. Does his nose look uncommonly sharp and prominent to you? I couldn’t believe she actually commented on such a thing.
- Pretty on the Inside?
Dear Pretty,
Yours is a very common concern. In fact, it’s so common we have already answered a similar question.
As we discussed in that column, there’s no reason to believe that your son’s facial particularities will be extreme or unattractive later in life. He’s only twenty-three weeks! That little half-baked face will change as he grows, and it’s not going to expand exponentially at precisely the same angles.
Believe us, we know; we both had the exact same fears during our pregnancies. One of us spent months wondering whether her daughter was going to come out looking like one of the Simpsons. Okay, she might have made a pretty good Maggie early on, and we’re not expecting to escape without orthodontics. But the overbite we fretted about in utero has turned out to be part of what makes her cute. More so, it’s part of what makes her HER.
We don’t know what the ultrasound technician was thinking when she opted to comment on your son’s features. Maybe she thought she was complimenting him (one woman’s hawk is another woman’s aquiline). Maybe she has some deep subconscious resentment or envy of sharp noses leftover from her childhood. Who knows? Whatever was going on in her head, she probably should have kept her mouth shut. Every flicker of the eyeball on the face of an ultrasound technician can trigger waves of anxiety in the person on the table.
Ultrasound technology has lots of advantages - and sometimes makes people feel more bonded to their fetuses - but it can also freak us out. We’re looking through a tiny, blurry windowpane into a work in progress. A completely random comment can easily be interpreted as disastrous. There’s no reason to feel guilty. You, like every pregnant woman who’s come before you, are just hoping that things turn out okay for your kid. This episode has suddenly focused that well-intentioned desire entirely upon the possibly imperfect curvature of a prenatal nose. Do your best to put the technician’s loaded, but ultimately meaningless, words out of your head.
Perhaps you should do the same with those premature baby pictures. If they’re giving you anxiety, there’s no reason to scrutinize them or even look at them. We’ve come to think it’s important to see our babies’ images before birth, but is it really? Parents have been perfectly well attached to their babies for centuries before we started giving them those tiny blurry photocopies to hug and hold beforehand. This snapshot is a moment in time, at a time when your baby is far from fully developed. You’ve probably seen snapshots of yourself that highlight features you’d rather not focus on. Imagine if your appearance were being judged solely on one moment’s image, and a glowing negative skeletal silhouette at that?!
Babies are engineered for cuteness to ensure that the adults around them give them the care they need. Fetuses enjoy no such evolutionary benefits. Give him some time. Your baby may not be quite ready for his close up yet, but we’re betting that a few months down the line, the magic of twinkling eyes and baby fat will have you wondering . . . why you ever worried.
Oh, and for what it’s worth, that nose doesn’t look particularly prominent to us.
Have a question? Email beingpregnant@babble.com
OMG. You need to get your head straight before that baby comes out, honey, because you can’t be like this once you have a kid. Ridiculous. Be grateful the ultrasound didn’t show any abnormalities!
And, from what I learned when I was pregnant, a prominent nose is a *good* sign, as a flat nose can *sometimes* be a sign of a chromosomal abnormality. The technician was probably referring to that, albeit not in a very smart way, as lay people might not know the nose thing.
So now kids don’t even get to be BORN yet before they’re held up to the beauty standard and found lacking? Good God.
Geez. The most helpful information was left out of this article: how ugly are the parents?
Too funny snarky mama! I’d imagine at least this mother is good looking.
Genetics is a crapshoot even if both parents are beautiful. Look at HRH Prince Charles. His mother was stunning as a young woman and his father was quite handsome. He inherited all their worst features in the extreme.
Sometimes even two very good looking people can have an uggo. That’s why they coined the phrase “a face only a mother could love”.
Besides, it’s a boy. Boys don’t have to be pretty.
Ahhhhh! This is it, Babble. We’re done.
I had a 3D ultrasound at 30 weeks with my daughter. Her nose looked HUGE! I think it was squashed or something, LOL! Anyway, I’m happy to report she is absolutely gorgeous!
I am kind of confused by the photo included with the story- I assume it is just a stock photo of an ultrasound. But that baby appears to not have a nose at all…which I guess would be a real valid cause for concern.
Am assuming this question is a joke, right?
I think the stock photo is a baby duck.
i don’t know why everyone is being so harsh on the mom and the article. I TOO worried about how cute my son would be. I didn’t want to be the parents of that Seinfeld episode who didn’t realize their kids was fugly. I knew I would love him regardless but I did fear if he was “ugly” no one would REALLY tell me.. I didn’t base my concerns on the ultrasounds, but I did worry. Now as a mom, I of course think our son is perfect and beautiful and I no longer worry what others think. But most of my fears as a pregnant woman were proved unfounded. perhaps it was mostly hormonal.
I agree with chill people. come on, can’t you guys possibly imagine that a person might have these anxieties and not be a vain and shallow nightmare??? Really. Some empathy. Pregnancy is an intense time. People can worry about all kinds of things. Leave it alone.
for my second baby the ultrasound photo was worrisome. of course, i was relieved that there were no signs of physical problems but the image we received was the face straight on instead of the profile so the eyes were hollowed out sockets and she just looked like a skull in biology class. it was disturbing.
OMG lela – us too! Our first kid looked so freakin’ creepy, JUST like a skull in biology class. We asked the tech; “Uh, is that normal? She looks … dead.” The tech looked at us like we were nuts and said she was fine. We considered having the image used as like a fetal death metal band mascot. Yuck. (Of course, she’s ridiculously gorgeous now.)
On my scan, the sonographers said that my baby was “very still” – to which I heard still born. I worried for a whole 8 weeks until the next scan showed the wriggliest baby imaginable. He hasn’t stopped wriggling since and he is now 2 years old.
Being the first of our group of friends to have a baby, most of our friends had never seen a sonogram. One of our closest friends takes a look at it and says, “Well, I can’t tell if it’s a boy or a girl, but it’s definitely an alien!”
Oh please, there is a huge amount of serious other stuff parents should be worrying about. Your baby is not a trophy so it is pretty vain to worry about his/her looks. What are you going to do if the baby ends up being ugly? Are you going to give the baby for adoption? Do you wish you had an earlier sonogram so you could have had an abortion and try for a better looking baby? I think that those worries are based on your own insecurities and I urge you to please take a good look at the issues in your life and resolve them before you have another baby. A baby should never have to live to their parents expectations of beauty or abilities. Grow up!!!
I have never met a parent who thinks their baby is ugly. (Once you get passed that squished up newborn phase, that is.) I think no matter what he looks like, you will probably think he is the most beautiful baby you’ve ever seen.
I took a sono at 23 wks and my baby boys head looks oversized compared to his body. Is this normal?
vanity takes to much of our thinking in todays society
He may just be sucking on his bottom lip!
my daughter also had an extreme overbite in our 18 week ultrasound. The perinatologist saw nothing out of the ordinary in it, but it turns out she has a rare combination of two syndromes- one of which caused her to have a very recessed chin and small tongue. Not to freak everyone out, but it’s not always something normal and is worth asking about.