My weight is something I’ve struggled with my entire life. Not actual weight so much as the concept of it – the nagging feeling that I always needed to be thinner, smaller, more athletic. After my daughter was born I had a really hard time accepting my imperfect body was even more imperfect – regardless of the fact that I’d just carried a child in it.
This time around I wanted to focus more on being healthy and loving my body for what it was capable of doing than obsessing over a number on the scale. When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I also was told ideally, my Dr. would like to see me put on around 50lbs.
And I died.
What I didn’t realize until later was that this weight has to do with the weight of my babies. All multiple moms (at least all I’ve known) have really focused on their weight gain and doing so with the right foods (protein and fat). This is because the outcome of our children, who tend to be born premature, depends on that.
Naturally gaining 500 pounds would be terrible, but a healthy, steady gain is the best thing you can do. And while many moms have healthy babies and are unable to put on a lot, it’s encouraged that we all try to keep on what we can.
The past 9 weeks I haven’t gained a pound. And as I crept further into second trimester with the scale not moving, I began to wonder for the first time in my life what I was doing wrong. Although having hyperemesis and severe food aversions made me unable to eat much the first 12 weeks, after that it was bearable.
Each and every time I stepped on that scale, I’d think, “Really?! Nothing at all? What about all those trips to Whataburger and Starbucks? Where is it all going?”
Indeed. Where was it all going?
So my last appointment at 18 weeks I got on the scale, crossed my fingers, and waited.
5lbs up in 4 weeks.
Ecstatic, I turned to my husband Sam. “I gained 5 pounds this month!” I announced proudly. “Isn’t that great?”
I saw him hesitate for a second. No reaction. I waited.
“Um.” He paused again.
“I feel like this is some sort of a trick question, so I’m going to ask you it back, wait to see what your reaction is, and then I’ll answer.”
(He was excited.)
Diana blogs on more on raising a toddler daughter, a surprise twin pregnancy, being an Army wife, and her crazy life on the aptly named Hormonal Imbalances.
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