What Do You Do When Youre Pregnant and Realize Your Baby Daddy is a Creep?Meredith Carroll
Creeps come in all different shapes and forms. It could be the husband or partner who makes unkind comments about your pregnancy weight gain. Or it could be the guy who actually tells you how gross your delivery was, in detail. Maybe it’s the man who isn’t nearly as supportive as he could be while you’re carrying his child — either by doing little to help prepare, making you go alone to birthing classes or not giving you the emotional support you so clearly crave.
My heart goes out to pregnant women with unsupportive partners, and I say shame on the men who aren’t manly enough to step up and realize they need to do the right thing (whatever that means to you). And to the women of those partners, I might also delicately ask if they didn’t really know ahead of time that their men probably wouldn’t be the greatest dads-to-be.
But what about the poor women who only found out their baby daddies were creeps after they knew were pregnant? Like (former) Rep. Anthony Weiner’s wife, Huma Abedin? Or the rumored pregnant girlfriend of suspected Natalee Holloway killer, Joran van der Sloot (although to be fair, since she was paying him conjugal visits in jail, she must have known something was off)?
In an ideal world (at least in my ideal world), babies are conceived with lots of love by two like-minded and committed partners. But as with all things, people and relationships change.
Pregnancy can make people do funny things. For women, hormones and other physical factors can contribute to abnormal behavior. For men, the idea of becoming a first (or second or third or fourth) time father might make them feel as if they deserve the chance to live out some last leg of their own childhood before they have to tend to a child of their own.
But — ugh. What if you find out while you’re pregnant that you’re husband has been cheating? Or has a criminal background? Or commits a crime while you’re pregnant? I get sick to my stomach at the thought of realizing my husband might be someone I thought he wasn’t, and particularly while I’m pregnant.
I feel bad enough for women who undergo life changes, like, say, a move, during their pregnancy. But realizing your husband or baby’s father is a schmuck? That’s the last thing any of us needs. There are enough unplanned, external surprises during pregnancy; getting one from inside your own house is beyond insult to injury.
Have you realized anything you don’t like about your partner during your pregnancy? On the scale of 1-10, how majorly bad was the revelation (Anthony Weiner being a 10, your excess gas grossing out your husband being a 1)?