What Not To Do In Your Pregnancy Portrait

What, you say you didn’t plan on taking a pregnancy portrait? Well, Ma’am, that won’t do at all.  Maybe it’s the advent of digital photography, or the fact that the human race seems to have lost the ability to use text to interpret events unless there are photos attached. But these days, documenting your pregnancy in photographs is a standard part of the process. Even if it’s just with your phone.

Some people take the documenting more seriously than others. The pregnancy portraiture trend has produced some lovely, touching records of gestation. And some completely wackadoodle sh*t.  The cult hit website turned book Awkward Family Photos features some serious winners in the second category, as Julie Ryan Evans points out on TheStir.com.

See my favorites after the jump, along some advice on how to avoid some of these awkward scenarios yourself.

Do not accessorize with fruit. Or firearms. Or worse, fruit and firearms.

I also don’t recommend posing with recently felled game, regardless of how impressive the kill might be.  You’re about giving life at the moment. Let’s not muddy the waters.

Lastly, and I’m sure this will disappoint more than a few of you— it’s really not a good idea to pose half naked with your two elder children in full hockey gear. Taken out of context, the masks lend an unseemly air to your blessed state, what with the whole Jason association and all. Also, white socks are never good for the leg line.

There’s more where that came from.

photos: AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com

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