What To Say To Infertile Couples


little girl and balloons
I hope my post from yesterday didn’t make you feel like you have to always walk on egg shells. Again, we are operating on some hyper-sensitivity.  But, if you want to know what’s best, infertile couples need support and love and not advice.

Kerstin Daynes said it well, “…try not to act like the expert and as though you know what their specific problem is. Rather, allow the person experiencing the problem to do most of the talking. Ask questions to clarify and to gain a greater understanding so you can be better educated.”

Here are some things that have proven comforting, no matter how simple they seem:

“I’ve been thinking about you today.”
“I’m praying for you.”
“Just let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
“I can’t imagine what you are feeling. You can talk to me about it and I can try to understand.”
“I love you.”
“I’m here to listen if you need me.”

Though these words may seem like canned responses, as I mentioned, the couple is looking for love and maybe a good listener. Some may have a “woe is me” attitude; others may be terrified of being pitied. Anyway, with an issue like infertility, things are going to be delicate. There’s a fine line between pity and sympathy.

What words have comforted you?

illustration: Sophie Allen

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