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When Infertility Turns Your Life Into a Blur

See this photo?

See the swirling?

The twirling?

That’s what life has been like for our family over the past several weeks.

We’ve lived a carefully timed and choreographed life of blood work, labs, and phone conversations with the infertility clinic.

I’ve packed snacks and games to occupy my two children for the hours they’ve spent in waiting rooms.

Twenty minutes there, twenty back.

Vials and vials of blood, two urine tests.

Today, as I began to mentally prepare for our appointment with our RE tomorrow, I began to wonder if this is just too much to ask of our children.

Am I disrupting their lives too much in an attempt to create another?

But then, as I snuggled with my daughter, she touched my stomach, looked up at me and asked,

“When will the doctor help us put a baby in your belly, mommy? Can she hurry? I really want a sister, please.”

And in that instant, the blur cleared.

Through tears, I thanked her. For being there, for understanding as well as a four-year-old can, and for giving me the courage to continue on this path.

My gratitude for her knows no bounds.

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