I’m going to share a personal story today because I’m sure it’s a scenario many of you have faced and I thought it might be comforting to hear from somebody who’s experienced the same thing. I know a few weeks ago I was looking for somebody to tell me everything would be okay.
At 19 weeks we went in for the ultrasound where the baby’s gender is revealed. I was so caught up in the excitement of it all that I didn’t even consider the possibility that something might show up that I wasn’t so thrilled about. The ultrasound took around 30 minutes to get all the measurements and by the time it was over my husband had to go back to work. I had to go check-in with the doctor and I did so assuming everything would be just dandy so I told him to go right ahead. I know now that I wish he would have stayed. I know he wishes he would have stayed.
I sat down with my doctor to discuss the ultrasound and she first gave me the rundown of what looked good. I was still on a high from knowing it was a little boy but then she said, “Now I’m going to tell you a couple things that I know are going to worry you out but I don’t want you to panic.” The tears started automatically.
What they found were two things. First, I have a two-vessel umbilical cord. Usually an umbilical cord is made up of two arteries and one vein. My umbilical cord is made up of just one artery and one vein. This is fairly common with no explanation of why it occurs. One issue they find with it is slow growth of the baby. There is nothing I can do about this, they just need to monitor the baby’s growth closely. The second thing they found was a cyst in the brain. Once again a common finding this early on in the pregnancy, but still cause for concern because it could be an indication of chromosomal issues. With these two things popping up, I was referred to an ultrasound specialist for a more detailed look.
This is not what a pregnant woman wants to hear. This is not what I wanted to hear after dealing with disappointing news from doctors for the past couple of years. I just wanted to hear, “Everything looks fantastic! In fact, your baby is the coolest I’ve ever seen. You’re so lucky.”
I, of course, was terrified even though my doctor told me not to be and the excitement of the morning was replaced by worry. I called my husband right away who automatically started researching the issues while I stayed away from the Internet, terrified it would make it worse. I told my mom, who reassured me, “The technology is so advanced now that they can spot even the littlest thing. They have to tell you what they find to make sure they cover their backs. Don’t worry, everything will be fine.” It helped some but I was still in tears.
Have you gone through a similar situation? How did you deal with the emotion and worry that comes even when people around you are reassuring you it will be okay?
This is getting lengthy so I’ll share the rest tomorrow.
image: Olly Moss