Chances are very likely that my husband will not be at the birth of our child this spring. We are a military family, and as of now, he is scheduled to be deployed at that time.
The realization of that sucks. It just does. No one wants to be separated from their partner when your baby is coming in to the world. No one wants to endure childbirth without their partner right beside them.
Unfortunately, this is our reality, so we’re handling with it the best way we know how… day by day, knowing that we’ve been through rough times and we’re still here. Still goin’ strong.
We knew before we got pregnant that this was highly likely to happen. When Paul was transfered to this squadron, we saw the deployment schedule… Then I peed on a stick… and BOOM, the reality of him being gone for the birth hit us.
I’ve already asked my mom to be ‘my person’ and be there with me when the baby is born, whether I’m in a birthing suite or in the operating room. Paul is attending as many doctor’s visits with me that his schedule allows, which he did when I was pregnant with Jackson too. We are doing the best we can to prep now… kinda.
Speaking of Jackson though, he has not yet experienced a deployment. We have been lucky enough since having Jackson, to have Paul at home with us. After 7 years of marriage, I am fairly seasoned when it comes to having a husband who is gone for extended periods of time… but this will be new for Jackson, and I’m not quite sure what to expect.
We have a wonderful support network, and in my heart, I know that we will be fine when it comes time for Paul to deploy again. But I do worry about him, his safety (obviously), and what being gone for the birth of this child will do to him.
It’s hard to ‘plan’ a pregnancy, regardless of the circumstances in your life. Whether you are a military family or not, life has a funny way of saying ‘guess what, you’re not in charge,’ which is exactly what we were told this time last year, when I miscarried. Paul and I had talked about adding to our family, and of course, his work is a big player in terms of the layout of our lives. We tried to plan as best as we could for him to be home throughout the pregnancy and delivery, but the universe just smiled and shook its head.
Once I was mentally in a more stable place and ready to try again after the miscarriage, we had to surrender the timing of it all. The bottom line is that we want more kids. We want a bigger family. And thank goodness we were able to get pregnant this time around.
Paul will most likely not be here on this baby’s birthday, but I *think* I’m learning that it will all be ok. We will all be ok.