When Will We Learn?

If I’m honest? It’s been a really long day.

A long week.

Month.

Year.

At times, it has felt as though my heart would break.

We’ve been trying since January to have a baby.

Nine long months.

Does that mean that those who have been struggling for four months know less sadness?

Two months?

No.

Grief is grief.

My dear friend Devan wrote a piece today wherein she bared her soul.

She shared the story of her 10 miscarriages.

10.

Actually, 9 miscarriages and 1 stillbirth.

And she was taken to task in her comments.

Her grief was compared, questioned, and cheapened and it breaks my heart for each and every one of us.

My husband and I miscarried a baby in 2008, at 8 weeks. (You can read our story here: But Still, Christmas.)

I thought I would die from the grief.

And if someone had tried to diminish that pain, I would have been crushed.

Devan’s losses are her losses…her experience. She has a right to her sadness…to her loss.

I’ve spoken about the grief competition before.

We cannot continue to compete with one another.

We cannot continue to diminish one another.

There is no strength in that.

No kindness.

No compassion.

Please go read Devan’s words and leave some kind ones of your own.

Do it because you know that grief is grief.

Heartache is heartache.

Do it because she is a woman who is worthy of compassion.

Much love to you, Devan.

Keep telling your story, my friend…for every one person who finds fault in your words, you help a hundred more.

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