I can’t tell you how many people have asked me why Sara and I aren’t adopting. The question comes at very different times and from very different conversations. Sometimes, it will be after a conversation about the struggles of IVF and all that is involved with this fertility method. Other times, it stems from a conversation others are having about adoption and is usually in some sort of “Have you ever thought about it?” inquiry. And occasionally, it’s a flat-out, “Why aren’t you just adopting?”
I don’t mind the question-asking about my fertility journey. I truly don’t. In fact, I welcome it because I believe my answers lead others to a better understanding about gay families. But this question has started getting under my skin. Could you imagine asking your straight coworker after she announces that she and her husband are expecting, “How come you’re not adopting?” Don’t get me wrong: I think adoption is a beautiful and noble road to parenthood. It’s just not everybody’s road to parenthood. And while plenty of gay families adopt their children, there are many reasons and roadblocks why others do not — or cannot.
After the jump, find out a few reasons why all gay couples don’t “just adopt.”
Read more of Aela’s writing at Two Moms Make A Right