Why I am NOT Happy with my Scheduled C-Section
Every since I knew the best and safest option for my third birth would be a c-section, the idea hasn’t really sat well with me. While I have been working hard to be positive, and make the experience as easy as I can, I cannot help the thoughts that stress me out in my own head.
I think it really hit me most this week when I was sitting down watching One Born Every Minute on Tuesday night. There was a couple there pregnant with twins, and they were waiting to go in for their scheduled c-section, and I found the whole process to bizarre. Knowing the date your child is going to be born, going to the hospital for a certain time, and getting preped, and then walking into the OR without any help, or assistance.
Each time I have made my way into the operating room to deliver my children, there has been some kind of emergent situation which made me scared, and fear for the unknown of what may happen. And here I am with my third child, being able to call the shots, the date, and walk down that long hall way to the operating room for a scheduled delivery.
While I was induced with my oldest son, I never assumed he would be born the same day we went in for the induction, everyone warned me that inductions could take days, so I was prepared to have him days after we started the process. And with my second son, I went into labor on my own, while at a baby fair sharing information and support for cesarean mothers through our local ICAN chapter.
I liked the surprise elements of him picking his own birthday. I liked not knowing when he was going to come, and best of all I knew that when he did finally decide to come he would be ready because no one was forcing him out before he was fully cooked.
This time around, I have scheduled my delivery for the latest possible date I could get. Typically scheduled c-sections are at 39 weeks gestation, but I was able to squeeze a couple extra days in there hoping that my little girl would come on her own. But the one thing that now frightens me about going into labor on my own is my birth plan crumbling.
I have worked very hard to plan on making this the best c-section I can. From picking the OB/GYN who will delivery my daughter, to knowing the residents on staff, and most of all having my midwife who attended my youngest sons birth there as my doula. A huge support system in place that I really need. She is my advocate, and my strength, especially since the untimely death of the doula I used with my last birth. I worry that she will be attending another delivery, or not be available to drop everything and run to the hospital for the support I have planned.
I guess I am just one giant ball of emotions. Going from the woman who said she would never schedule a c-section, to being in that position is not something I can take lightly.
I am this close to saying I hate my scheduled c-section.
There are advantages and tradeoffs to every decision. That is what makes some decisions so difficult. It will all work out! I just know things will happen the way they are supposed to
Hugs.
Thinking about you, Danielle. This is an unimaginably difficult place to be and I wish you peace with the process.
Ok just ignorance here, but why do you even have to schedule it? why can’t you wait till you start to feel like you are in labor and just go in and explain the situation? and let them do the csection? I never really understood why? Also why couldn’t you just tell them you want to wait till you are past 40 weeks to schedule it? Then the baby might have a chance to pick her own birthday?
@Meghan. An emergency C is very traumatic for Mommy and possibly for baby so the Doctors like to have it scheduled in order to everything to be as “ready” as possible.
@Danielle. I had my first baby as a scheduled C due to a transverse postion. It was definitely very odd to walk into the OR. The benefits were: My entire family knew when she would be making her big debut and took measures to be there to greet her. My husband had allotted the time off of work without any last minute hassles. Now I’m expecting baby #2 and will try for a VBAC and the uncertainty of his arrival is actually driving me nuts. Thinking of you through these choices, they’re not easy. Best to you.
I kinda agree with Meghan. I don’t know you or your situation, but personally I’d still be trying to get that VBAC.
Given the circumstances and your own personal decisions tho, I would say you are having some pregnant-woman worries. They are normal. They will pass and while everything may not go absolutely perfectly, they will unfold the only way that they can; naturally. I hope you get what you want, and I hope your worries are all in vain. If not, well.. there’s tons of support out there for you afterwards as well if you’re willing to go looking for it.
Best of luck!
My second baby was a scheduled c-section and I didn’t like the idea of picking a date or time either. I also picked the latest possible date, several days past 39 weeks. I was nervous and scared. My first was a crash c-section and I was put under general anesthesia(unconcious), so I had no recollection of what the surgery was like. For intents and purposes, this was going to be my first time experiencing the surgery. I was anxious and scared to say the least. Having been through it though it was a blessing in disguise. There were no emergencies, no scary buzzers going off, no heart rate crashes from the baby, no hours of painful labor, no exams every 30 minutes. It was all controlled and calm. I was able to plan child care for my son and calmly drop him off and say good bye. I was able to shower and dress and pack and saunter into the hospital for my appointment. The doctors and nurses were all smiles and relaxed, and so was I. I got a spinal block instead of an epidural since there would be no labor(so great!). After entering the OR my daughter was born shortly there after and my husband was able to spend some time alone with her in the recovery room while I was in post-op. It ended up being a really wonderful experience compared to the emergency nature of my sons birth. While it wasn’t what I hoped for, it should have been. It was perfect. I have since changed my mind and have no issues scheduling my next c-section.
BTW- for those wondering why you have to schedule: 1. You want to make sure YOUR OB is on staff that day. You don’t want just anyone operating on you. 2. Some medical conditions either pertaining to the mom or the baby requires that you don’t labor. It can cause serious trauma to either under certain conditions, so scheduling usually means you skip the labor altogether. And, I’m sure there are many other reasons as well.
I had to have a c-section because my son was breech, we waited as long as possible before deciding on the date, the surprise element for me was still there though as I didn’t know if we were having a boy or a girl!!!
Krystal, I understand Danielles situation and her c section is certainly her best option.. (I am a homebirth mama so trust me that is coming from someone who thinks many c sections are not warranted)
I didn’t realize that a c section after labor was a problem.. what about is it just more physically traumatic for both or mentally?
@Meghan – Once I go into labor, it increases the risks for myself, and the baby given the situation. But one of my biggest concerns is not having my midwife available to be with me, or have the surgeon of my choice that I have sat down with and put a lot of thought, and planning into this delivery to make it the best possible experience. In a split second, an on call, and whoever else could be in my delivery and not only make it uncomfortable, but yet another bad experience.
@Kristal – VBA2C in my situation is not an option. It is not because I do not want to try and VBAC after 2 c-sections, but because for myself in my situation, with my history, it is not a choice I would pick. I wrote a post about this recently (http://blogs.babble.com/being-pregnant/2011/01/24/i-dont-want-your-pity-i-want-your-support/)
Sorry this is a sucky situation for you. Hugs
I don’t know your situation, but I do want to say it’s never too late to reconsider your options. Good luck, and I hope your birth goes smoothly.
Thanks for the comment eB, but it is a done deal at this point. It is simply not an option to try and VBA2C with this baby, although I wish it was.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not bemoan the fact that you’re getting a scheduled c-section. This way you will not run the risk of not having the professionals/support system you trust around. It doesn’t matter how baby # 3 gets here as much as it matters how he/she lives once he/she is here. You’ll get a wonderful baby out of the whole thing and you still get to be a mother. You tried 2 vaginal deliveries before and although the plan of your dreams didn’t happen, you had 2 healthy babies and you all came out alive. I had an emergency c-section after going through a spontaneous labor/ruptured bag of fluids and dilating to 10 cm (all at 36 weeks. While fully dilated, my son was still high in my pelvis and would have needed high forceps to be delivered at that point, then he went into distress and I started crashing. I’m grateful for a healthy son and a skilled Doc who knew what he was doing.). I was as educated as they come and I still needed a c-section. This time around, I’m going to take a hypnobirthing class to calm my nerves but I will not be attempting a vbac. The risk of an anoxic brain injury or uterine rupture(although very minimal) is not one I’m willing to take. Please don’t lose sight of the great joy you will feel at the birth of your beautiful child. In the grand scheme of things, a scheduled c-section is by far not the worst thing that could happen. I’m certain you’ll find a way to make the experience beautiful and meaningful.
I think this article is a little heavy on the dramatics. Honestly, it’s your 3rd child. You are pretty much a pro at this by now. No doctor is going to purposely take a baby before it’s due. There is nothing wrong with scheduling your date. It’s done everyday. My last child was scheduled for a c-section and they ended up coming earlier.
@Candy – The dramatics are EVERY bit necessary, and any mother should be entitled the feel the way she would like, and express it when it comes to her delivery. I am a mother who had TWO traumatic deliveries, not these simple walk in the park c-sections, that have been with me and impacted me very deeply for three years.
Well if your 2 previous deliveries were so traumatic and impacted you so deeply, maybe for the health and safety of yourself and your child you would have reconsidered having another child. Anyhow, I hope all is well with your delivery and best wishes with your new baby.
@Candy – We were not planning on having anymore children… We were done having children especially because of my previous deliveries.
I had a unnesecarean with my first and willed NOT to have another one with my second. I went with a wonderful midwife here in Mexico and everything was going perfect until I got pre-e. I was 36 weeks and to find another doctor who would accept me with pre-e and vbac was impossible, I decided not to go with my midwife anymore, it was like the last straw, the pre-e she was wonderful but there was alot of spiritual things she did I didnt like, so I felt like this was God saying, no, the answer I was praying for.
Even though I hated csections thought doctors were evil, I scheduled mine with my doctor (a doctor my midwife recommended, but he doesnt do natural births which isnt novelty here in mexico but he was only going to be my back up if I had an emergency in my HBAC) I called the shots, planned everything as I wanted, was able to hold my baby in the OR, and actually had a good day, this time around I really felt like the mother of this baby! It was empowering and I feel God used it to heal me from my hate of my last Csection, and by the way, my recovery was great! I was out the next morning from the hospital (thats normal in Mexico) and felt great, no real pain except for some contracting, it was a wonderful experience!
Just because a decision is the best one to make given the circumstances does not mean you have to like everything about it. I can’t imagine being in your position but I also made decisions during my second labor that I thought I would never make (planned homebirth turned hospital VBAC with epidural and Pitocin). It is wonderful that you can make the best decision for you, your baby and your family even if it doesn’t exactly make you happy. Good luck with your upcoming birth and congratulations.
I know you are making the best decision for you and I find it sad that random people on the internet see fit to question your decision, and inform you that you are not entitled to your feelings about it. Our births are significant and our feelings are valid, whatever they are.
And anyone who believes that a doctor would never take a baby too soon has clearly not done their reading on the current state of birth in the U.S.
It really bothers me when people demonize C’s. I had a horrible surprise C with my first, but an absolutely WONDERFUL scheduled C with my 2nd. C’s are an absolutely AMAZING, life-saving thing. I’m now expecting my 3rd, and we will again be having a completely scheduled C. I’m really looking forward to it. Stop comparing the “hows” baby gets here, and celebrate the fact that your little one is getting here safe and sound at all.
I had to have a scheduled for my second child which was way better than my emergency one with my first. I healed easily, was up that night with my newborn and honestly it was a great birthing experience. The night before my husband and I went out for what I would have to say the most romantic dinner we have ever had.
The owner of the restaurant had also been through planned c-sections so she had a glass of champagne waiting for each of us. We spent 2 hours of totally dining and enjoying each others company. A rare treat. The following day, I kissed my 2 yr old and told him we would have a sibling for him at the end of the day – a surprise because well I was creating a life not a planned sex of!
Birthing plans don’t always happen. Your birthing plans crumbling so what you can brood about it not being planned? Your midwife is your strength through a c-section? Honestly what does she need to be there for, why isn’t your husband your strength, actually you haven’t mentioned him once! Relax your having a baby, your 3rd at that. You know the sex and you are complaining that you are picking their birthday. Relax and enjoy you are going to have a non stressful birth.