Why I Can't Read Home Birth Stories

I don’t think it is news to anyone who reads Being Pregnant that I am a big advocate of informed birth choices, including home birth.

Last night I was talking to a friend of mine, and the topic of birth stories came up, and she asked me how I felt about reading home birth stories, especially those women who have had home births after a c-section, or multiple c-sections… something I was originally planning if I ever had a third child.

Clearly my plan for a home birth after two c-sections went out the window, and we all know that in a short week I will be having my third c-section unless a giant miracle occurs and I go into labor on my own and deliver.  As much as I would love to have the experience… I simply don’t see it happening at this point.

But before getting pregnant, I used to love reading these amazing birth stories… triumphant, successful, beautiful, and everything I always dreamed of for the birth of my children. Everything I always wanted to experience. Everything I thought my births would be before even getting pregnant with my oldest son.

Is it jealousy?  I am sure it is… reading about the euphoric experience I know in the back of my head I will never get channels the inner mean girl in me, which is why for my own sanity I have really backed away from reading any home birth stories in the past couple months, especially since I confessed my desire for an accidental home birth… another pipe dream.

I just can’t bring myself to essentially torture myself over it anymore… so once this little girl is out, and I am back to being myself, not a giant hormonal bundle of nerves, I can get back to business as normal!

Are there any specific kind of birth stories you couldn’t read in the months and weeks coming up to your pending birth experience?

photo: flickr.com/rabble

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