When I found out I was pregnant with my third child, it was a huge surprise in many ways. My husband and I were basically done having children, at least for the time being, but our daughter had way different plans for us.
In the weeks after our discovery, I panicked not knowing what kind of provider I was going to see, or what my plan for my pregnancy would be. With two previous c-sections, it doesn’t really leave options open, despite the newest recommendations for Vaginal Birth after 2 Cesareans, also known as VBA2C. While this was typically frowned upon in the past, new research showed it is a safe and viable option to most women. Of course they would have to look at each individual woman, and weigh the risks and benefits, and of course the comfort level of the mother. But to have a large medical organization like ACOG come out and say, VBA2C is acceptable… was a big deal.
It got me excited at first, and I started interviewing providers left and right to find an OB/GYN or midwife practice that would allow me to have a trial of labor with two previous surgical deliveries. After my first birth experience I had little desire to go back to an OB/GYN at all after my experience. I had no desire for the short appointments with long waiting times, the invasive tests that were repeatedly ordered even if I declined, and feeling bad for my educated choices when it came to my informed refusal.
When it came to the care I got from midwives, I made the calls. I had long appointments in which all my questions were answered… I was treated as a face, and a name, not a number on a chart, and I built an amazing relationship with my providers. Not only that but I got better care with a more hands off approach, exactly what I needed after what I went through with my oldest son.
I interviewed different midwives, and decided even if I could not have a trial of labor for my third child, I still wanted to do all my prenatal care with midwives. It is what was most comfortable and appealing to me. And what is exactly what I did.
I worked to make special arrangements with my midwives who I saw with my second son for prenatal care, and of course a c-section delivery for birth with one of the OB/GYN’s from the practice that backed them. Here I am at almost 32 weeks pregnant with a c-section date scheduled with not only the OB who will deliver the baby, but also with my midwife who will be acting as my doula, and advocate in the operating room.
It took me a long time to come to terms with how I have to deliver my babies, and I am sure there will be some people out there who will disagree with me, or my choices for medical care, or call me some kind of hypocrite for being a natural birth advocate who is having a scheduled c-section, but those people are the extremists I have no interest in working with anyways.
Would I love to have a home birth, or never have had a c-section with either of my older children? Of course, I think about it every day. But would I rather have harmed by children or self in the process? Of course not. Sometimes the only safe way, is the way we may not view as safe.