I remember back when we had one child and thought he could really use a sibling. He seemed bored with every toy and never played. He seemed to isolate himself and not understand what to do around other kids.
We weren’t ready for another baby, but knew we’d have more children eventually – so we decided to go ahead and try for baby #2 thinking it would be a while before I got pregnant (baby #1 had taken a year to conceive).
I was pregnant the first month.
I remember feeling really overwhelmed and wondering WHAT were we thinking? Other moms have confessed to having babies against their own desire in order to “gift” their child with a sibling. What do you think?
What was “wrong” with my child wasn’t that he was lonely or bored or needed a friend, it was that he was showing the beginning signs of autism. He was diagnosed one week after I gave birth to baby #2.
I’m not one to say I would do things differently if I had it to do all over again – because those two boys are the best friends in the world now. But advice to other moms? Listen to your gut. If it feels too soon, IT IS TOO SOON. I was really struggling with my special needs child by the time the next baby came, and instead of being able to focus on just one child’s needs, I added the needs of a newborn into the mix. It is known as the “dark ages” in my life and my marriage. It was extremely trying, and I sometimes wonder how our marriage even survived it.
Have you ever become pregnant to give your child a sibling, and wondered later if the timing was right? Are you considering now doing this but your gut is saying no?