I’ve mentioned before that I waited beyond my first trimester to tell anyone other than my husband that I was pregnant. It was a personal decision that I made because it made me more comfortable once I was out of the “danger” zone to reveal my pregnancy.
We didn’t keep the fact that we were trying for a baby a secret. Many of our friends and family knew that we wanted a second child, we just never knew how long it was going to take.
Earlier this week I had the chance to sit down and hear the stories of couples on the road to parenthood. They have chosen to share their journey on TLC’s web series, A Conception Story. The show explores the part of the journey that comes in between — getting pregnant. Many of the couples have dealt with infertility, miscarriage, and even the struggle to get pregnant after having children.
The openness and candidness of each couple amazed me. They were willing to share each and every bit of their road to pregnancy. They spoke about their struggles with miscarriages and the emotional toll it can take on you. What amazed me even more, was how open the husbands were. These men were willing to talk about ovulation cycles, going to fertility clinics, and how trying to have a child has affected them. Most things you would almost never hear a man talk about, these men said with ease and pride.
One couple’s story, Sophia and Kyle, really hit me hard . Much like my story , they suffered a miscarriage after having a healthy little boy. I sat next to them in tears as my emotions began to get the best of me. I shared with them how I had been in a similar situation.
I chose not to speak about my miscarriage until well after I knew I was pregnant again, but because they had already announced the pregnancy on Facebook, the couple had to face it head on and tell the world they had lost the baby. Their courage and honesty about everything made me think that maybe if I had spoke about it earlier, it would have emotionally helped me get over the loss.
Sophia, now six months pregnant with a healthy little girl, wanted to share their experience on A Conception Story so that other couples could relate and realize that they aren’t the only ones that have dealt with the heartbreak of a miscarriage after having a child.
After speaking with the couple I had the chance to sit down with Dr. Mary Jane Minkin, a board-certified obstetrician/ gynecologist in private practice in New Haven, Conn., and a Clinical Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Yale University School of Medicine. After brining back the emotions of my miscarriage, I wanted to speak with her about why it is so common for women to experience it and why it’s been so taboo to speak about. She explained that the actual fertilization process is quite complex and she’s surprised that miscarriage doesn’t occur more often than it already does.
She also told me that she wishes more women would be open about their struggles so that others can relate and find comfort in it, much like the couples are doing on A Conception Story.
Seeing the couples and speaking with Dr. Minkin made me question whether I should have waited so long to share my story. At the time of my miscarriage I was upset, embarrassed, ashamed, and angry at myself because I thought that I might have done something wrong. Going through these emotions, realizing that it wasn’t my fault, and that other women have been through the same thing, helps me find comfort in it all.
Would you share your conception story with the world?
Photo via TLC.com
Disclosure: I was not compensated for this post. I did receive a gift bag for attending the event. All opinions expressed are my own.