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Wrapping My Head Around It

By Diana Stone |

A question I get asked a lot with this twin pregnancy is, “So, do you feel like you’ve wrapped your head around it all yet?”

It’s one I think of a lot. Certainly, in the 9 weeks since finding out we were having twins, I’ve experienced a rollercoaster of emotions unlike any I’d ever felt. From pure joy to grief to terror to guilt – and it was over and over.

Each time I realized something would need to be done in twos, or not done at all, or I might not be able to do, I went through a struggle of acceptance and realization that my knowledge of a pregnancy and baby would be so very different this time around. 

So now, 18 weeks in, I can say that I feel like I’m wrapping my head around it in this moment. I can’t imagine much of their first few months with us because it’s almost incomprehensible to picture it yet. But what I can imagine is tomorrow. Next week. Right now. I have chosen to take smaller periods of time to focus on and adjust to because big changes happen very suddenly in this pregnancy.

I mean, in 9 weeks we’ve gone from fraternal to identical to boys to very high risk. That’s enough for me – the last thing I need to is also start focusing on 4 months from now or a year from now.

It’s all getting easier to process. But I know when they’re laid in my arms, it’ll start a whole new journey of emotions. And if I can handle the ones now, it might be easier then when they all hit again for new reasons.

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Diana blogs on more on raising a toddler daughter, a surprise twin pregnancy, being an Army wife, and her crazy life on the aptly named Hormonal Imbalances.

Smaller glimpses into her day are on Twitter as @lifeasaSAHM and Facebook.

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About Diana Stone

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Diana Stone

Diana Stone blogs at Diana Wrote about her life with a daughter here and three sons in heaven, life as an army wife, and her faith. Smaller glimpses into her day are on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Read bio and latest posts → Read Diana's latest posts →

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0 thoughts on “Wrapping My Head Around It

  1. bethanne says:

    Diana, you are so awesome & brave & whole-hearted about these babies.

  2. kelli g says:

    Great way to think about it friend. Cuz there are still some days, 7.5 months later, that I look at my boys and think “wow. there are 2. I had 2 babies. at once!” It’s overwhelming and scary and yet the most amazing thing ever. And you’ll be great. <3

  3. christene knight says:

    Dear Diana,

    My heart reaches out to you. I too had the same situation happen to me. My water broke when I was 18 weeks pregnant with my son in 2004. We arrived at the hospital and they ran a few test, did an ultrasound (I heard his heartbeating strong as an ox) and then the doctors and nurses told me they had to induce labor and I would have to deliver my son and he was not viable and would die. After talking it over with my husband, we told the doctors we refuse to kill our baby. They all frowned upon us and were very rude and dismissive. The next morning I was sent home with no kind word or advice, just “you are being sent home to miscarry and will prob lose the baby in 24 hours.”
    I went home and for 6 weeks I laid in bed scared for my life, bed sores and all. The day I was 24 weeks pregnant I went into labor and had my Son Christian Thadeus Knight 12/21/2004. He was 1 lb 9 oz, 12 inches. He had a rough start but he is here for our family to love and cherish because we made the right choice for him and us. He will be 8convicted years old this year and is in 1st grade, reading books, doing math problems and making us smile and laugh.
    Love Christine Knight

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