The Babble List: Fathers-in-Chief
We rank the parenting of every single U.S. President, from worst to best.
by Madeline Holler
November 3, 2008
THE BAD
John Quincy Adams (6th - Democratic-Republican)
Fine, perhaps mental illness ran in the Adams family, but that doesn't mean it should be ignored. Which is how John Q. Adams's son George (John Adams's grandson) wound up committing suicide after suffering lifelong depression. John Q. inherited his namesake's lack of fatherly devotion.
Chester A. Arthur (21st - Republican)
We're not real impressed with Chester as a father. He sheltered his daughter. His son was a playboy who chose a life of leisure instead of serious work. We need better results from our national father-leaders! Speaking of which . . .
George W. Bush (43rd - Republican)
We'll dismiss Jenna's two no-contest misdemeanors (underage drinking, using a fake ID) as typical University of Texas fun. And Barbara getting clocked for driving 120 mph? Ahhh, the hubris of youth. It's this unfeeling rejoinder from Daddy W. that is a telling look inside his not-so-fatherly mind: when Jenna asked him not to run for president, back in 1999, he told her that he and Laura needed to live their own lives. Well, sure, but . . .
Ronald Reagan (40th - Republican)
The Gipper had two wives and four kids who survived into adulthood, including conservative radio host Michael Reagan and the wild-and-liberal Patti Davis. What gets Reagan ranked with the worst is this small but very telling detail: he and Nancy never once attended a performance by their rather accomplished ballet dancer son, Ron. How sad is that?
Benjamin Harrison (23rd - Republican)
We don't know a whole lot about him as a dad. But as an uncle, he's a skank — he married the niece of his first wife. Sprung from this dubious coupling was a daughter, Elizabeth, who led anything but a conventional Gilded Age life. She married at the spinstery age of 24, after having earned lots of degrees, and started an investment newsletter for women: "Cues on the News." So why the bad ranking for Daddy Ben? He died when she was four. It's hard to give him credit.
James Monroe (5th - Democratic-Republican)
Two daughters, one of whom was a total snob who reminded everybody of her wealth and importance. She managed to alienate all of France and Washington, D.C., without reprimand of her father, whom she was supposedly representing. What's with the lack of discipline for these children of the early fathers of this nation?
Martin Van Buren (8th - Democrat), William Henry Harrison (9th - Whig), John Tyler (10th - Whig)
A mixed bag, these dads, with lots of children who died early, became alcoholics and weren't good with money. Harrison had to step in to take care of his grandkids to cover for his sorry-ass son.
Zachary Taylor (12th - Whig), Franklin Pierce (14th - Democrat) and William McKinley (25th - Republican)
As parents, these three were hampered by tragedy. Taylor lost a bunch of his kids to malaria (including one daughter who married Confederate President Jefferson Davis). McKinley had frail children and a frail wife, all of whom died young (his wife shortly after McKinley was assassinated). All three children of Franklin Pierce died young, including one who was killed in a train wreck — that Pierce himself witnessed.
Millard Fillmore (13th - Whig)
Fillmore had two kids but no grandkids. His son's friend Grover Cleveland once described Millard Jr. as "odd in many ways" — which may mean that he was gay, but may also mean that he was just, you know, weird. We'll call it a draw.
©2008 Babble
About the Author
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Madeline Holler is a writer and mother of two. She lives in Long Beach, California. |
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