The Helicopter Parent’s Reading List – Six classic children’s books that get too close for comfort. by Lynn Harris for Babble.com.
Six classic children's books that get too close for comfort.
Are you a hovering, indulgent, boundary-free moms or dad? Perhaps you know one? Here’s the essential bedtime reading list for helicopter parents. Think of these kids’ books as flight manuals. – Lynn Harris
A mother’s dreams for her daughter, nicely written and illustrated; of no interest whatsoever to children. “Someday, a long time from now, your own hair will glow silver in the sun. And when that day comes, you will remember me.” Right? RIGHT?!
2. KNUFFLE BUNNY TOO by Mo Willems
Hey, we all love the Knuff (not to mention MoWill). But a dead-of-night swap by two wiped-out parents when Trixie and her friend realize they have each other’s Bunny? Boundaries, people. “Trixie’s daddy tried to explain what ’2.30 a.m.’ means.” Yeah? Try harder. (Seriously. Did the pigeon get to drive the bus?)
3. GUESS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU by Sam McBratney
Poor Little Nutbrown Hare is just trying to tell Big Nutbrown Hare how much he loves him. But creepy competitive dad, the kind who would deliberately beat his kid at Candyland, keeps one-upping LNH by describing his own love as bigger still – even after the little guy, defenseless, is asleep (and no doubt dreaming of his own worthlessness). Let it go, Big Nutbrown Hare, let it go.
I absolutely hate “I Love You Forever”. Someone gave that to me when my son was born. I read it, and immediately donated it to Goodwill. The story did creep me out. Of course my son will always be my baby in my eyes, but I can barely hold him now that he weighs 35 lbs. I can’t imagine rocking a grown man (yuck). And I hate these stories where the mom dies in the end. Like saying “you’d better appreciate me now, because I’ll be gone one day.” (“Someday” is another example. Geesh.)
“The Giving Tree” completely traumatized me when I was little. I was horrified by the idea of slowly killing the person/creature who took care of you and was terrified that somehow, that was what I was doing to my mother. It took her months to reassure me that I wasn’t some little monster with an axe, but I’m not sure I ever really got over it because I totally shuddered when I saw a photo of the cover a minute ago. Egads!
LOVE the commentary. Couldn’t agree more. Some of these really do seem to be windows into the troubled souls of the adult authors…. I totally agree with you in re boundaries. HAH… I’m not kicking ‘em out on their 18th birthdays, but I do see each stage as a slow progression toward independence. Sunday dinners at Mom’s house? Fine. Then you get in your car and drive yourself home.
Oh that was funny. I loved it. Thank you for harpooning such deserving and long awaited targets. Please write more about the helicopter set. Maybe even a weekly feature? “Safe Restaurants for Helicopter Parents,” “Activity Guide for Helicopter Parents,” “Helicopter Parents’ Guide to Managing Your Child’s Teachers,” etc.
Hilarious! Thank you. “Runaway Bunny” has frightened me since childhood, and frightens me still more now in mom-hood. “Stalker Mommy will never let you go. Stalker Mommy will be there, in your closet, even when you’re forty years old….” It’s like a horror movie starring Joan Crawford.
Totally agree on Guess How Much I Love You and Love You Forever. But I gave Someday as a gift becuase I thought it was cute! And we love the Knuffle Bunny books.
Thank you! Sheesh, I really thought I was the only one who hates The Giving Tree and I Love You Forever! I think The Giving Tree is the ultimate in manipulative guilt-trips, and I Love You Forever is creepy and stalkerish, especially at the end. I worked in the children’s department of a book store for two years. Groups of adult women would sometimes come in looking for a gift for a baby shower or something and one of them would inevitably suggest I Love You Forever. Then they would find the book, and one would read it aloud while all the others cried. Seriously, this happened way more frequently than anyone would believe. My husband has a copy of The Giving Tree – I’m thinking of giving it away. I love children’s books, just not emotionally creepy ones.I reccomend all little girls get a copy of The Paper Bag Princess.
There is a great parody of the Giving Tree on College Humor:http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1829043I'm not quite as bothered by The bunny books as everyone else, I think Mo’s books kind of suck. If Mom can’t back Dad on saying “no” to a 3 am bunny exchange, what are the chances of setting any limits later on?
Aw, you can’t be hurting on the Knuffle Bunny books! I think they fall more into the “bumbling dad” category than the “helicopter parent” category anyway. But “I Love You Forever”? Scary stuff.
Thanks for the sorely-needed laugh. Someone gave me the Nutbrown Hare book and I just thought that it was so boring. I will now go back and read it with new eyes, before either trashing it or foisting it upon some other helpless new parent. I do like the pictures in “Runaway Bunny”, though.
Hilarious article! I was weeping with laughter. I quite like Someday for myself. I can’t imagine my toddler would find it remotely interesting.
This is great! — and you totally hit on three of my most hated books: Guess How Much I Love You, The Runaway Bunny and I Love You Forever. My mother-in-law (now ex mother in law) gave my daughter the copy of “I Love You Forever” that she had saved from when she read it to her kids. I found the book horrifying and creepy–and hid it away in the back of a closet.
Is “I Love You Forever” the one where the parent and child compete over who loves the other more? Gag!Although I freaking crumble to pieces when I read “Someday,” although I mostly think about me and my mother, vs. me and my daughter.I guess that makes me a Hot Wheels-size helicopter parent? I hope?
Oh, sniffle! I love the Guess How Much I Love You book – and, in its defense, both when I was a kid, and now that I’m a mom, I’ve always felt like parents have a layer of love that children can’t really understand. (Confession: I still haven’t read any knuffle bunny. . . )Is it rabbit-affiliated? Most of these books have bunnies, it seems?
This is the best thing ever published on Babble! And I could not agree more with I Love You Forever (((((shiver))))) and The Giving Tree (((((gag))))).
Wow…hmmm…I don’t know how to feel anymore. I have loved I LOVE YOU FOREVER since childhood. I don’t think its that creepy! Maybe climbing into her son’s room with a ladder is overboard…definitely. But its a freaking children’s book! Not to be taken that seriously! And I’m gonna throw myself over the bus again admitting that I love GUESS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, too. I think its sweet and playful. Not at all about a dad trying to ‘outdo’ his son. Psh!
I have to agree that I also like Guess How Much I Love You. I always thought it was sweet that the dad wanted his baby to know he will always love him more. This is not like saying I will stalk you forever, like some of the other books.
I like Guess How Much I Love You; I gave Someday to my fellow-Mom/sister-in-law. It’s more for us anyway. It’s totally in the wrong section of the bookstore. We got I Love You Forever as a gift (from a close relative) for my son—totally agree! Very creepy. Now I don’t feel as guilty about chucking it.
Completely agree with this. I sold kids books for years and always cringed at the popularity of Love You Forever, which I found extremely disturbing and freakish. My own kid is weirdly fascinated with Runaway Bunny. Now I am beginning to worry.
I can’t help but think that no one that commented before me has “grown” kids…. I read “Love You Forever” for the first time when my second son was 3wks old and my first son was 16.5years old…. ya I cried… I still get choked up. I don’t think that book is really meant to be read to kids. I think of it as more of a reminder to moms just how fast our kids are growing and how our love for them never changes no matter how much they change. Ya… creeping across the floor at night is a tad over the top but, have you ever looked in on you teenager while they are sleeping and remembered them as infants? In your heart of hearts I bet you wished you could go in and hold them for just a minute, one more time. Also, it’s a reminder that the cycle continues with each generation just like it should.
I have to confess that, while I have read hundreds of books to my children, most of these we haven’t heard of yet! Which, judging by the response to the books, is quite possibly a good thing. BUT, I have to confess that my son loved/loves “The Giving Tree”, I think for the rhythm of the story, and he quite possibly finds reassurance that the tree is always there and willing to help no matter what. Not my favorite book, but he does still love it.Love You Forever… huge fan here of the author, even though this book still makes me cry, and I don’t often read it to my children. They think it’s kind of funny – goofy Mom stuff (the story in the book and my tears). As for the reason for the book, it’s written to the children that he and his wife lost to late miscarriages. (I don’t remember how many, but more than a couple.) I always think of how he and his wife never got to rock and cherish and be exasperated with (ie: watch down toilet, as per cover) these babies. It’s a tribute to how he wished he had a chance to love them, imo.
HA – one of the funniest things I’ve read in a while.Still giggling over “Let it go nutbrown hare, let it go.”
I just read “Guess how much I love you” yesterday and was completely charmed by it, until I flipped to the last page. I actually gasped and said, “That jerk!” I’m still sad that the big bunny ruined his son’s only victory! So it was to my huge amusement to see this article. Totally dead on. I might have to just change the last page of the book with a big piece of tape that makes it read simply, ” I love you right up to the moon- good night”
My husband is trying to watch a movie right now and has banned me from laughing… difficult after such a funny article and so many equally funny “reader” comments.
My mother gave me I’ll Love you Forever & I was horried (didn’t tell her of course cuz she was teary over it.) I read it to my husband & totally creeped him out too. He told me if he ever caught me driving across town to crawl into my son’s apartment and hold him while crooning a song, he’ll consider therapy & meds!! I think this book touches thoses parents most who have a problem dealing with their kids growing up or who weren’t close to their kids in the first place (my mom is sweet but clingy). I also think if my son wants to visit me when I’m dying I’ll let him come in the front door!!!
My mother gave me I’ll Love you Forever & I was horrified (didn’t tell her of course cuz she was teary over it.) I read it to my husband & totally creeped him out too. He told me if he ever caught me driving across town to crawl into my son’s apartment and hold him while crooning a song, he’ll consider therapy & meds!! I think this book touches thoses parents most who have a problem dealing with their kids growing up or who weren’t close to their kids in the first place (my mom is sweet but clingy). I also think if my son wants to visit me when I’m dying I’ll let him come in the front door!!!
Tee hee. I remember my husband gleefully reminiscing about Guess How Much I Love You, which I vaguely remembered included bunnies but had otherwise forgotten. When we got the book for our little one, I mentioned that the book seemed to really be about one-upmanship. Hubby was mildly offended, but, see, I wasn’t alone!
I always remember being creeped by I love you forever when my mom read it(and cried) when I was a kid. Since I am the youngest she STILL says the part about being her baby forever. Yikes, no wonder I moved far, far away.
I love Robert Munsch’s books. I Love You Forever is very different from his other work. According to his bio on his web site, it is a tribute to two stillborn babies he and his wife had. Knowing that gives the book an entirely different context.
I hate “Love you Forever”! My stupid x sis-in-law gave it to me at my baby shower. I always thought it was weird and creepy. She was the most worthless mother ever who couldn’t even be bothered to change her own babies’ diapers but she tried to tell me how “moving” the book was and how it had always made her cry. As if reading this book makes you some great mom. I read it once to my son and threw it in the trash. What a psycho book! And the review of it made me laugh my head off.
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From an adult perspective, “Love you Forever” is a little creepy, but my 2 year old LOVES it. I guess from his perspective, this is all well & good and why wouldn’t you want your Mommy to rock you to sleep, even when you’re 40? But then again, he’s also told me he wants to marry me when he’s “A Daddy”. So maybe his opinion is a little biased. (On that note, maybe we need some new bed time stories after all…)
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