There’s no secret that, as humans, we will make our share of mistakes. Some of our mistakes may be harmless in nature, while others might have the ability to cost us our relationships. But the thing about shedding light on some of the mistakes you have made is the heightened sense of awareness that most often follows. In many instances, awareness often arrives coupled with opportunity, an opportunity for self-reflection, growth and a chance to change old habits and begin anew. Recently, I stumbled upon a post via The Single Woman Guide that identified some mistakes women make when it comes to their relationships. The thing about these mistakes, however, was that they weren’t just one time offenses. Instead, they were what you might call repeat offenses, mistakes made over and over, having a negative impact on the quality of the relationship.
12 of the Biggest Relationship Mistakes Women Make 1 of 13
Click through to find out 12 relationship mistakes you may be making.
Nagging 2 of 13
You call it being passionate. He considers it nagging. Constantly complaining to your spouse about what they are doing wrong or pointing out the things you don't like is a sure way to cause a rift in your relationship. The well-known phrase often holds true: even in matters of the heart, it's not always what you say but how you say it.
Not showing gratitude 3 of 13
A little gratitude goes a long way. Most people want to feel appreciated. If you are thankful, be sure to show it. Rather than pointing out where he falls short, point out the ways in which he makes your life better.
Letting yourself go 4 of 13
For some of us a muffin top quickly followed marriage, as did a host of other priorities and obligations that caused us to put caring for ourselves on the backburner. Yes, he did promise to love you for better or for worse and that most certainly ought to include unshaved legs and a few extra pounds, but that doesn't mean we should stop making the effort. In all honesty, keeping ourselves up will probably make us feel good too.
Making him feel like you do not need him 5 of 13
Yes, I know. You're an independent woman. And you don't have to lose your independence by being in a relationship, but you also don't have to do it all on your own anymore. Many of us have this innate desire to be needed.
Being too attached and clingy 6 of 13
Your life revolves around your spouse. Rather than spending time solo or with friends, you only want to be with him. This leaves little room for you to pursue other interests, let alone breathe. Having time apart can be good for your relationship and allow you to enjoy the times when you are together even more.
Not making your relationship a priority 7 of 13
Yes, I am well aware of how quickly our babies grow. They grow so fast that you want to spend all your free moments doting on them. And then there's work. Because, "love doesn't pay the bills" right? But if you don't make an effort to preserve your relationship, then you can't expect it to last. Can you?
Trying to change him 8 of 13
Most of us want to be loved and accepted for whom we are spouses included. Sure there is always room for self improvement, but you are who you are. Trying to change the person you married can cause its share of issues for you and your spouse, besides chances are they were the same person when you married them as they are today (or maybe they're better because, rather than trying to change them, you bring out the best in them).
Making assumptions 9 of 13
He's silent and as a result your mind is wandering. Something must be wrong. He's not happy. But the reality is a spouse's silence doesn't always indicate there is something wrong within the context of your marriage. He might have something completely different on his mind.
Not working as a team 10 of 13
Some of us have a tendency to want to do everything on our own. It is a habit we may have carried into our marriages. We complain that our spouses don't help us enough and when they do we complain because they did things differently then we would have. Marriage consists of two different individuals coming together.
Not allowing him to parent his children 11 of 13
Although it may not be our intentions to do such, sometimes we are sending the wrong message to our spouses by hovering over them and giving them orders on how to raise children that are just as much theirs as ours. Remember that whole working as a team thing?
Not having your spouse’s back 12 of 13
No one wants to be "thrown under the bus" and certainly not by their spouse. Having someone broadcast your flaws and shortcomings even in a joking manner can be hurtful, but imagine if it were your spouse? Airing your spouse's dirty laundry and belittling them, even if only done out of anger, is just wrong. Additionally, if your spouse has a dream, even if it's not your dream, it should matter to you. If you believe in them, it's important to show them that you do.
Not trusting them 13 of 13
In this case, I am not speaking of trust from a fidelity standpoint. Many of us trust that our spouses will be faithful to us within the context of their vows, but we don't trust them with our dreams, our fears, and the various thoughts that fill our days. If you truly trust your spouse, then a part of that is being able to come to them with your fears, struggles, and concerns. Not just the ones that relate to your relationship, but also the ones that relate to your everyday life. Trust that they can handle it, that they can support you and help. Give them the opportunity to be there for you.
What are some additional mistakes women tend to make when it comes to relationships? And for those of you who have made some of these mistakes, what are some things that you have done to get out of the habit of continuously making them?
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